How Stuff Works

In our day-to-day life, we are surrounded by a variety of gadgets, for example, room heaters, cell phones, computers, washing machines, treadmills, mirrors, tumblers, etc., etc. We rarely use them to their full potential, depriving ourselves of most of the benefits.

There is an immense information gap between the inventors and the consumers. To use such technological marvels with love, respect, and the care that they deserve, all adults who are not senile should at least have rudimentary knowledge about their working.

Also sometimes you end up looking like a fool when you are not able to answer a question posed by an inquisitive 4-year-old member of your family. To help you avoid such awkward and embarrassing situations, I present my dissertation on a few popular gadgets.

Habitat Machine (Courtesy dezeen.com)

Mirror: It is human nature to watch one’s reflection whenever there is a mirror within eye-range. But only a few intelligent people understand that what they see is not their true image, but a mirror image. This confusion occurs because God has created us highly symmetrical. Try reading a book in a mirror. Everything will look opposite. Following this opposite theory, if you see yourself as beautiful, charming, kind, sullen, or ugly, you should check antonyms for these words in a dictionary to find out how you are actually perceived by others.

Comb: This toothed object is mostly made of flat plastic pieces. It is used to untangle and arrange one’s hair. It works by streamlining the hair into small bunches all the way from top to bottom. When this process is repeated multiple times, the hair start looking smooth and unruffled. In the absence of a comb you can use your fingers for the same purpose. Inversely, you can also use comb instead of fingers to scratch your body, except some body cavities such as ear or nose.

Spoon: Spoons are objects made of metal, wood, or plastic with a scoop and a handle. Any spoon required for the purpose of eating should not be too big or too small, because the former would be difficult to insert into your mouth, and the latter would stretch your mealtime by several hours.

Here is the proper way to use a spoon. Fill the concave side of the scoop with food and holding it horizontally carry the food into your mouth. Do not turn the spoon vertical, not even when it is inside your mouth. Rather remove the spoon out of the mouth in the same position holding the food back with your upper lip. Initially, it will feel like a chore, but gradually you will master the art. Spoons are also multipurpose objects. You can use them as stirrers as well as tiny mirrors.

Tumbler or Glass: Liquids have definite volume, but their atoms and molecules do not have fixed positions, thus they lack definite shape. They take the shape of a container. Under such circumstances, a tumbler is a highly useful object to hold liquid food items for the purpose of sipping and drinking. Although you can sip from a plate too, most of the time a plate’s capacity is less than a tumbler’s. Sometimes when I try to sip dal or other curries from my plate in a restaurant, my husband gives me sharp disapproving looks. For reasons unknown, drinking from a plate is socially unacceptable.

Toothbrush: This is a small brush of the same size as your fingertip with a long handle. You need to lace the plastic bristles of the brush with toothpaste and move it up, down, and around your teeth to remove the rotten, decadent, stinking material stuck there. In this process, billions of bacteria, virus, fungi, and other protozoa—all living beings—prospering in your mouth are mercilessly slaughtered. A toilet brush also works in a similar fashion.

This is all for now. If you want to learn about any other specific object or device, please feel free to ask me.

(Originally written for 21Fools)