My Didi, Mayawati Kumari

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Mayawati Didi celebrating B'day with 52 Kg cake.
(Hindi Version)
Whenever my friends show off their diamond jewelry, or describe any extravagant party thrown by a relative, or talk about their grandparents who own retinues of servants at their palatial homes fitted with fountains and statues, I ache to tell them about my didi. But as soon as I open my mouth saying, “My didi…,” someone else, more vocal, would hijack the conversation. My voice lacks that dominating quality.

Writing has now given me an outlet, so here I go. My didi has diamond and gold jewelry worth Rs 51 lakh, and that is just what she has declared. She is getting a mansion built on a plot of one lakh sq ft. The UP government will spend Rs 42 crore on it. The fortress under construction looks magnificent with its red-stone walls, and copper and brass gates. Didi’s and Kanshi Ram Ji’s 18-ft-tall statues on 40,000 sq ft pedestals will grace its compound.

A Love Song

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Your Arrow My Heart 
You’ve occupied my heart,
And made a mess of it,
As the Multi-National Force
Has done in Iraq.

Still, I hold you in
The same holy vein,
As holed Bin-Laden
Holds his cause.

Deathly Adventures Of Little Qaddu: Based On A True Story

Friday, September 25, 2009

Qaddu's Ancestral Haveli
At his large ancestral home, Little Qaddu was everybody’s favorite. He was a chubby boy with wide eyes and thick black hair. When he was born, his mother had taken him to a soothsayer or maharaj who foretold that the child would bring glory to his parents. Little Qaddu was quiet, obedient and hardworking. He spent his spare time learning magic spells instead of playing gulli-danda or cricket with the other boys on the streets.

How I Found Happiness By Following Vastu

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My latest seating arrangement has proved very productive and mood elevating. The noteworthy results are—I started this blog and had many sessions of enlightening chat (of course I paid) with some of the great Vastu experts and astrologers, whom I admire and follow. Even my local friends have started making courtesy calls to me. I have not been so blissful in a long time.

Mr. Shashi Tharoor, You Should Resign!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Shashi Tharoor
I am a senior Congress party leader, who has worked his way to the top with utmost loyalty to the Family, not fallen from the sky like you, Mr. Tharoor, to acquire a plum post. If it were only for one tweet where you said that you would travel “cattle class in solidarity with all our holy cows,” we would have overlooked it as a misdemeanor. But holy bull what is this I read in The Hindu? A felony indeed.

A Prayer: Oh God, Please Get My Blog More Hits Than The Most Popular Ones!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Lord Vishnu deeply engrossed in the worldly affairs.
I don’t know how you Christians or Muslims do it, but we Hindus do it the way our ancestors did several thousand years ago. We begin our projects, small or big, with a prayer to God. Whether as students we go to appear in exams, or as businessmen and politicians step out to make important deals especially the corrupt ones, we reverently bow our heads in front of our Gods. My family members never forget to pray before leaving home to travel by air, water, or road. And to this day not a single living member of my family has ever died in an accident.
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