Top 10 News Stories Of The Year 2009: Part II

Saturday, December 26, 2009

From the notebook of Spin, a 17-year-old boy living hundred years from now.
Top Ten News Stories 2009

Name: Spin
Age: 17 Years
Date: December 21, 2109
Project: Top 10 News Stories Of The Year 2009

6. Talks about the earth getting hotter were hot throughout the year. The world leaders supported or denied to implement the measures to cut greenhouse gas emissions according to their self-interest.

Top 10 News Stories Of The Year 2009: Part I

Sunday, December 20, 2009

From the notebook of Spin, a 17-year-old boy living hundred years from now.
A self-portrait by Spin

Name: Spin
Age: 17 Years
Date: December 20, 2109
Project: Top 10 News Stories Of The Year 2009

1. Barack Hussein Obama II became President of a powerful conglomerate of 50 states called United States in the Continent of North America. The same year, he was

Top 10 Hindi Dance Numbers Of 2009 And Some More Hit Bollywood Songs From Previous Years To Get You In The Groove For New Year's Eve

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Top 10 Dance Numbers Of The Year 2009
1. Kya Baat Hai Kya Cheez Hai Paisa, featuring Katrina Kaif and Akshay Kumar from the movie, De Dana Dan 2009=>

2. Gazab Bhayo Rama Zulam Bhayo Rama featuring Bipasha Basu and Neil Nitin Mukesh from the movie, Aa Dekhen Zara 2009

Terrorism And War For Dummies

Monday, December 7, 2009

Kids enjoying a sunny day
Most of the time we keep our children protected from the big, bad world. We keep them busy with school projects, piano lessons, Kumon/swimming/karate classes. We instill in them patriotic values, initiate them into mindless, obscure religious practices, and teach them how to lie, and bully other kids.

Camping: Part IV, The End Of Adventure

Monday, November 30, 2009

(From the previous post: Finally, we came on the main road. Here at least we could see some passerby and ask for help. A vehicle came along. We flagged it down by frantically moving our arms. X proceeded to talk to the driver. To me he looked like the Misfit, a serial killer from Flannery O’Connor’s story, "A Good Man Is Hard to Find." )

The Misfit
The Misfit explained that we had strayed too far, and offered to drive us back in his clunker. I suspected that he was laying a trap for us, so hesitated a bit, but before I could think of any strategy to escape, all three of my friends occupied the back seat, leaving only the front seat for me.

Sarah Palin: The Best Sailing Author

Monday, November 23, 2009

Sarah Palin the Author
I like Sarah Palin because she is so pretty and her name rhymes with Para Sailin', a recreational activity, where you don’t mind being tied with a rope and dragged by a boat over a distance. Para Sailin' scores over other activities, because even if you are like me, too cautious and economical to pay for a life-threatening activity, you can still post your pictures enjoying it on Facebook.

Bright Young Boys

Saturday, November 14, 2009

A Bright Young Boy
Bright young boys
Take the world in stride,
Spin fine webs,
To catch butterflies.
It’s too late
When they realize
They’re awfully tangled
In the self-spun ties.

Camping: Part III, The Joys And Trials Of Hiking With Like-Minded Friends

Monday, November 9, 2009

Camping: Hiking Trail
After suffering the grumbling crowd over lunch and tidying up the place, a few hiking enthusiasts among us expressed a strong desire to go test-drive their legs on the walking trail. Although, I am against all sorts of walking, jogging, running, or any other exercise fad that puts unnatural strain on one’s body, I went along because the best of the gossipmongers—X, Y, and Z—had decided to go, and I was afraid in my absence they would invent some juicy stories maligning me and reinforce their pre-conceived prejudicial notions about me.

I Love Camping: Part II, The Cooking Adventure

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Camping: The Cooking Adventure
Yes, I missed the cyberspace to some extent, but hanging out with real people, a primitive, Stone Age activity, was in fact a mind and body stimulating, refreshing experience.

On Saturday morning, after stuffing ourselves with aloo-parathas and tea, which tasted a lot different in the open air, once again we rummaged our packages to prepare lunch for the battalion. The men were trying to be extremely cooperative and wholeheartedly involved in cooking and washing the pots and pans, thus making the job more time-consuming and complicated.

I Love Camping: Part I

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Camping: Setting our open-air kitchen
Some people spend thousands of dollars to vacation at five-star resorts. We go camping, as it is the least expensive way of outing, offering the most recreational activities. Once you have bought a tent and a couple of sleeping bags, all you have to pay is around $20 to book a campsite for two nights. The experience of leaving the comforts of a home and going back into the arms of the nature is invigorating.

One fine morning, in the month of June, seven families of us went to Doll Mount Campground, and pitched our tents. Kids took instantly to the place. They ran around exploring the abundance of sticks and stones and a variety of bugs, and also discovered creaking swings and rusted slides at a play area.

How and when did you become a butcher?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Butcher Girl (Courtesy Monsterkidd)

People keep on asking me, “How and when did you become a butcher?” Here is my reply!

Happy Diwali!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Pushpak Vimana
I like festivals because they provide us occasions to be happy for no personal reasons. We cook and eat festive food, clean and decorate our homes, and go on shopping spree in the name of tradition.

For believers, Diwali is a day to commemorate Lord Rama’s return to Ayodhya on his Pushpaka Vimana after killing the demon king Ravana who had kidnapped his wife Sita. Lord Rama ended the evil empire with the help of an army of monkeys.

The Grist Mill’s Prize In Physiology Or Medicine 2009

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Baba Ramdev
The Grist Mill honors Baba Ramdev for rediscovering cures for all the diseases that ail mankind. Baba can cure swine flu, cancer, homosexuality, and alleviate the sufferings from AIDS. His holistic approach also provides special remedies for women in showbiz who suffer from low morality. Following this announcement, the Divya Yog Mandir Trust might invite The Grist Mill to the yoga centre on the Scottish island, or to the health food shop selling herbal drinks and medicines at Leicester, to receive an award of $1.4 million for recognizing Baba’s efforts.

The Grist Mill Peace Prize For 2009

Recipient of Peace Prize 2009
The Grist Mill has decided that the Peace Prize for 2009 is to be awarded to my Unborn child for the hope that he will make extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. The Mill has attached special importance to the Unborn’s prospective vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons.

The Tradition Of Karwa Chauth

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Celebrating Karwa Chauth
The fourth day of Krishna-Paksha during the month of Kartik is called Karwa Chauth. On this day, married women worship Lord Ganesha and an earthen pot called karwa for the well-being of their husbands. They fast for the whole day and break it in the evening after listening to the following enlightening kathas or stories and offering water to the rising moon. (Now I know where the moon got water from. ISRO and NASA, you losers, take a hike.)

Delhi Men, The Go-Getters

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

High-flying Delhi Men
What should we expect if an Arora, a Chopra, a Khanna, and a female Singh were thrown in together for a few hours? A scuffle.

Just because I had written about Rahul Mahajan and Raj Thackeray, many of my friends from Delhi complained that I was being prejudiced in favor of Bombay boys. That is so untrue. Delhi men fascinate me endlessly. Before proceeding, let me clarify that the term, Delhi men, is not synonymous with the men from Delhi. They can be from anywhere. The only criterion is that they should be go-getters.

The Strange Affliction Of Raj Thackeray

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Raj Thackeray greeting his supporters 
The doctors attending on the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) supremo, Raj Thackeray, at Lilavati Hospital said that he had awakened from coma, but was still under observation. They disclosed that he was now suffering from a strange affliction wherein his vocabulary had reduced to…horror of horrors… only one word, the “B” word.

Deeply moved by his condition, the President of India, Smt. Pratibha Devisingh Patil released this statement: "This is an occasion for all of us to reflect on the life and work of the Son of Maharashtra, Raj Thackeray. Whenever I think of Raj, his image in white kurta-pajama, spectacles, and red tilak emerges before my eyes, and I am always overwhelmed by his philosophy and values. Raj's leadership inspired hundreds to unite for the cause of Marathi Manoos, and work for the eradication of bhaiyas and their dadagiri by destroying public property.”

Rahul Mahajan The Dream Boy

Thursday, October 1, 2009

♥♥♥ Rahul Mahajan ♥♥♥
After witnessing the success of Rakhi Ka Swayamwar, I am sure all the participants of Rahul Dulhania Le Jayenge are going to have a gala time. Rahul Mahajan says that any girl of marriageable age and of good family values has an equal chance of becoming Mrs Mahajan. I am 18+, but I don’t understand the second requirement about having “good family values.” All my eleven kids do value me a lot.

Look at the picture—his sunglasses, his stubble, his lips. Which girl in the world wouldn't want to become Mrs Mahajan. Wait a minute…I’ll be back soon….

I’m back. I have a bad taste in my mouth, and my throat is irritated. Actually, I threw up. I don’t remember what I ate yesterday. Yeah, I have been watching Rahul Mahajan in Big Boss on YouTube since last night where he had been portrayed as Krishna Kanhaiya. He seems to me a complete package—so many stars rolled into one. Like Sanju baba, a rich dad’s poor little kid with a broken relationship and drug problem, and like Salman Khan, brash, flirtatious, and shirtless. Wait a minute…I’ll be back soon….

My Didi, Mayawati Kumari

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Mayawati Didi celebrating B'day with 52 Kg cake.
(Hindi Version)
Whenever my friends show off their diamond jewelry, or describe any extravagant party thrown by a relative, or talk about their grandparents who own retinues of servants at their palatial homes fitted with fountains and statues, I ache to tell them about my didi. But as soon as I open my mouth saying, “My didi…,” someone else, more vocal, would hijack the conversation. My voice lacks that dominating quality.

Writing has now given me an outlet, so here I go. My didi has diamond and gold jewelry worth Rs 51 lakh, and that is just what she has declared. She is getting a mansion built on a plot of one lakh sq ft. The UP government will spend Rs 42 crore on it. The fortress under construction looks magnificent with its red-stone walls, and copper and brass gates. Didi’s and Kanshi Ram Ji’s 18-ft-tall statues on 40,000 sq ft pedestals will grace its compound.

A Love Song

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Your Arrow My Heart 
You’ve occupied my heart,
And made a mess of it,
As the Multi-National Force
Has done in Iraq.

Still, I hold you in
The same holy vein,
As holed Bin-Laden
Holds his cause.

Deathly Adventures Of Little Qaddu: Based On A True Story

Friday, September 25, 2009

Qaddu's Ancestral Haveli
At his large ancestral home, Little Qaddu was everybody’s favorite. He was a chubby boy with wide eyes and thick black hair. When he was born, his mother had taken him to a soothsayer or maharaj who foretold that the child would bring glory to his parents. Little Qaddu was quiet, obedient and hardworking. He spent his spare time learning magic spells instead of playing gulli-danda or cricket with the other boys on the streets.

How I Found Happiness By Following Vastu

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My latest seating arrangement has proved very productive and mood elevating. The noteworthy results are—I started this blog and had many sessions of enlightening chat (of course I paid) with some of the great Vastu experts and astrologers, whom I admire and follow. Even my local friends have started making courtesy calls to me. I have not been so blissful in a long time.

Mr. Shashi Tharoor, You Should Resign!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Shashi Tharoor
I am a senior Congress party leader, who has worked his way to the top with utmost loyalty to the Family, not fallen from the sky like you, Mr. Tharoor, to acquire a plum post. If it were only for one tweet where you said that you would travel “cattle class in solidarity with all our holy cows,” we would have overlooked it as a misdemeanor. But holy bull what is this I read in The Hindu? A felony indeed.

A Prayer: Oh God, Please Get My Blog More Hits Than The Most Popular Ones!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Lord Vishnu deeply engrossed in the worldly affairs.
I don’t know how you Christians or Muslims do it, but we Hindus do it the way our ancestors did several thousand years ago. We begin our projects, small or big, with a prayer to God. Whether as students we go to appear in exams, or as businessmen and politicians step out to make important deals especially the corrupt ones, we reverently bow our heads in front of our Gods. My family members never forget to pray before leaving home to travel by air, water, or road. And to this day not a single living member of my family has ever died in an accident.
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