My Didi, Mayawati Kumari

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Mayawati Didi celebrating B'day with 52 Kg cake.
(Hindi Version)
Whenever my friends show off their diamond jewelry, or describe any extravagant party thrown by a relative, or talk about their grandparents who own retinues of servants at their palatial homes fitted with fountains and statues, I ache to tell them about my didi. But as soon as I open my mouth saying, “My didi…,” someone else, more vocal, would hijack the conversation. My voice lacks that dominating quality.

Writing has now given me an outlet, so here I go. My didi has diamond and gold jewelry worth Rs 51 lakh, and that is just what she has declared. She is getting a mansion built on a plot of one lakh sq ft. The UP government will spend Rs 42 crore on it. The fortress under construction looks magnificent with its red-stone walls, and copper and brass gates. Didi’s and Kanshi Ram Ji’s 18-ft-tall statues on 40,000 sq ft pedestals will grace its compound.

Last time Didi paid an income tax of Rs 26 crore—more than Mukesh Ambani. Lol, thinking that he is one of the richest industrialists. Although, a few hounds have been sniffing around to find out if Didi’s earnings were fraudulent, I assure you that the most of it has come as gifts and donations from her followers and admirers. This year Didi toned down her birthday celebrations because of the Mumbai attacks, otherwise last year she had cut a 52kg cake. Didi wants her birthday to be known as Swabhiman Diwas.

Didi plans to install 40 statues of herself, our idol Kanshi Ram Ji, and B R Ambedkar all over the state. A project that will cost Rs 2,000 crore. I strongly believe that Didi should be honored by having her wax figures at Madame Tussauds, so now I am sending an online petition to Nick Varney to that effect.

Online Petition to get Didi's Wax Figure at Madame Tussauds

To,
Nick Varney
Chairman and Chief Executive
Merlin Entertainments Group Ltd.

Dear Sir,
We request you to install a wax figure of our beloved leader at your museum. Ms. Mayawati Kumari is the chief minister of an Indian state, Uttar Pradesh, which has a population of 190 million. That is almost three times the population of United Kingdom. Hence, it makes her three times more eligible to be waxed than Princess Diana, or Queen Elizabeth, or whoever rules your country.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned
The readers of The Grist Mill

8 comments:

  1. Uggh.. 'eligible to be waxed' elicits unspeakable images.

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  2. I can only think of waxing like the moon!

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  3. Hey,

    Another interesting post!

    Once your petition is appoved to get did's wax figure, please send another petition to get laloo's Wax Figure at Madame Tussauds.

    All the best:-)

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  4. What nonsense ! Shah Jahan spent all the money he got from squeezing his subjects to build Taj Mahal and you celebrate him as a great lover. When Behanji pays her respects to herself and Kanshiramji in the same way, you criticise her.

    Why don't you write a piece criticising Shah Jahan for a change ?

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  5. That is such an apt comparison, Ulloo Ram Ji! Thanks for speaking in support of my didi!! Long live didi's love story!

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  6. So, only Mayawati, Rahul Mahajan, Raj & Bal Thackery and so on...No one from Congress or left who are not related to you....

    Tirumalanath

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  7. Behen Mayawati ko badhai...My mom is in Lkw..Behenji loves blue colour and so all the Pwd officials wear blue shirts...so much for didis terror..

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  8. Alka, I read that Lknw was colored blue, and this year the cake was 55kg. Behenji jiyen hazaron saal....

    ReplyDelete

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