Mayawati Didi, Varun Baba, And The Murtikaran Of Uttar Pradesh

Sunday, May 23, 2010

You might be aware of the fact that my Didi Mayawati Kumari has spent Rs 2,600 crores on the much-hyped statue project of installing, amongst others, her own statues in the North Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. All over the world, people have hailed it as an unprecedented event, saying that no other living person has ever done this before. Didi is obviously an extraordinary visionary who has successfully concretized her visions. In the spirit of a true leader, she has given herself back to the society. See how elegant she looks with one hand raised, symbolizing power, and the other hand holding a shoulder bag, representing wealth. I luv my Didi. xoxoxo.

Mayawati Didi's Statue
Now Varun Gandhi, the rising star of the BJP, says that if his party comes to power after 2012 assembly elections, it would replace all the statues of Didi in Lucknow with idols of Lord Rama. Oh dear, why does he want to spend another Rs 2,600 crores, when he can accomplish the goal in a fraction of that amount? I don’t want the roly-poly, new-generation rabble-rouser to actually indulge in any destructive activity a la Babri Masjid. Look at the following picture. A mere painting of the statues in this fashion would make his task less expensive, easier, and more constructive. Jai Shri Ram!

Mayawati Didi's statue painted as Lord Rama
After marveling over the above image, I was left wondering what would happen if the Congress Party came to power in Uttar Pradesh. I know, I know… Sonia Gandhi does not look like a religious person, but you never know. People become pious and God-fearing in old age, and if that were to happen, Sonia Maino Gandhi might want Didi’s statues to be replaced with Jesus Christ’s. In that case, I suggest she should also get the statues painted. Here's a secret, I like Jesus Christ, because I think he endorsed the Book that prohibits men from coveting their neighbor’s wife, while not putting such restrictions on women.

Mayawati Didi's statue painted as Jesus Christ

I would never ever want the Taliban to come to power anywhere in the world, let alone Uttar Pradesh, after what they had done to the gigantic 1,500-year-old Buddha statues at Bamyan, Afghanistan. The 114 and 165 feet high statues, carved into the sandstone mountain, were savagely destroyed by the rogues. My heart bleeds to imagine the same fate for Didi’s statues.

Mayawati Didi's statue destroyed by Taliban 

For this very reason, I don’t want Mulayam Singh Yadav to win either, because I know he will not listen to my suggestion.

Now it is likely that after some years, I will become famous through this blog, and people of Uttar Pradesh would insist on me becoming the Chief Minister of their state. Being of a kind, generous, and obliging nature, I would find it difficult to say no to their request. If you think that after becoming the Chief Minister, I would also try to change Didi’s statues, you are right. It’s true that I brag about my Didi every now and then, but she has never so much as given me a 10-paisa gift in my entire life.

Therefore, I would rather get all those statues painted in my likeness and in my favorite red coat. It's my all-time favorite because it’s the only coat that I own. My husband bought it for me in China many years ago. I have never washed it or dry-cleaned it, but it still looks new. It smells odd, but after having the coat on for a few minutes, the smell hardly bothers me. Rather it’s helpful in a way that when I’m in a crowd, people give me a lot of room. Out of the eight buttons on the front lapel, five are missing, but it’s not very noticeable.

Mayawati Didi's statue painted as Giribala Joshi
Oh, I can’t wait for the day when I acquire such statuesque status, but until then I’ll keep on singing this song, “Woh kya hai? Woh UP hai. UP mein? Bahut si moorat hain. Yeh moorat kaisi hoti hain? Mayawati  jaisi hoti hain.” (What’s that? That’s UP. What’s there in UP? There are a lot of statues. What do statues look like? They look like Mayawati.)

Did I tell you that I had a dream last night? Yes, I saw Kashi Ram Ji in heaven. He told me that he missed Didi a lot.

(Faking News: Mayawati Behenji's Facebook Wall)

31 comments:

  1. ha ha ha ...

    bahut hi badhiya ... kaisi kaisi khurafaten aati rhti hain aapke dimag men ...hamen kyon nahi aatin :-)

    red coat ke saath red lipstick badhiya matching kar rhai hai..

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  2. Funny and insightful! Interesting reading, respectful mockery! Enjoyed thoroughyly, keep writing.

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  3. Hilarious.......the best part is the narration about your red coat !!

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  4. @Arkjesh and @Ruchi: Thanks a lot!
    @Binzy: Thanks for your visit and also for adding me to your IndiBlog network!
    @IndiVine Bloggers: Thanks for your visit and for the votes!!

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  5. Again, a Gem, Giribala ! I really get amazed by the imagination of your very fertile mind !

    When you do get your statues installed,and when the red coat comes up for animated discussions, I recommend not to mention it is from China. The current Indian govt.is looking at such objects with supicion !

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  6. The last photo takes my breath away! One has to drive across UP, even for at least 300 km, and see how many statues have come up. Even Noida has not been spared.

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  7. I liked Lord Rama the best. Very smart post!

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  8. @Saumyendu: Thanks for the caveat. Will certainly declare that the red coat was bought from Janpath or Karol Bagh.
    @Deb: he he...thanks! Some say that they hold their breath :-)
    @Rahul: Yes, Didi looks best in Lord Rama's getup. Take care of yourself and Laila!

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  9. Awesome post Giribala. Am sure if didi was aware of your skills, it would have been you who would have designed the statues.

    Possibly you could then have designed it as your statue and altered it to make it look didi-like, you know keeping in mind the unavoidable fate of you being crowned CM of UP

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  10. Nice post and good design alterations of the statue. LOL

    Btw, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife.. is from The Ten Commandments from The Old Testament and pre-dates Jesus. He did not say anything about neighbors wife or husband. :)

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  11. @Amit: That's a great suggestion! I like it!
    @Ravi: Thanks for pointing out the error. I've made a slight change to correct it. Welcome and keep visiting :-)

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  12. I can bet Sushree Mayawati loves pigeons. And when you love pigeons have public coffers to dig into, you go for statues. Earlier Mostly Gandhi, Nehru and Ambdedkar used to get all the attention (sh*t) of pigeons, and now our dear CM gets plentiful of it.

    On neighbor’s wife issue it reminds me of Buddhism. One of the core teachings is one should never get attached to a married woman. Perhaps Siddhartha was worried of his wife whom he had left alone to grieve. Hindus have simplified it and clubbed wife among other possessions of her husband and all other men are prohibited to go after some other man’s possessions.

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  13. Nice imagination... The Lord Rama one ws the best ....

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  14. This is brilliant and hilarious. I think you should write in newspaper columns. It'd make the day for many. Pure, unadulterated fun. I was laughing all the way through the article. I am adding you to my reader:)

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  15. You are the future of this nation. We are definitely going to see a lot of breaking and remaking of statues, someone like you would make it possible for contracts being signed for 2600 crores when the job requires just a bucket of paint... I agree with the commenter above, you have all the qualifications required for replacing the first statue with your own.

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  16. @Rajesh: Thanks for the insights!
    @Mayank and @Ajay: Thanks for the encouraging words!
    @IHM: That would be a real deal--charge for the statues and pocket the money. Your support will be very crucial for my success!

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  17. Did Mayavati is sharp lest we forget- knows the game well. She also knows the many tricks of staying in the limelight

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  18. This was one of the MOST brilliant post I've ever seen in blogging! Totally sharing this with my readers too! :)

    I wish those politician get to read this too! ;)

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  19. Hey, I like the end! I'd rather have a trillion didis like you than the lone delinquent you keep calling didi.

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  20. Brilliant !!

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  21. Giribala, at her best! I wish fulfillment of your last dream of the red coat attired statue as it looked most elegant, notwithstanding the missing buttons.. :)

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  22. really awesome imagination. and this is actually what is required to be done. great. :)

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  23. The last statue is fantastic. nice'kartoot'.

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  24. वाओ !! दैट वॉज़ ऑसम !! हैटस ऑफ टू यू मैम..

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  25. having such talent in an ex-kotdwar person,is indeed heartening for [leftover] bel kotdwarians,keep up the good work,your satirical pieces are an interesting read.

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  26. @Umashankar, @Sangeeta, @Rahul, @Anonymous, @Alka @Kewal bhaisahib: Thanks everyone :-)

    @Aryan Rokzz: थेंक यू सो मच!

    @Dr. Bagwani: Thanks for the encouraging words! I am happy that you liked my work :-)

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  27. Brilliant @Giribala ... xoxoxo

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