Mayawati Didi, Varun Baba, And The Murtikaran Of Uttar Pradesh

You might be aware of the fact that my Didi Mayawati Kumari has spent Rs 2,600 crores on the much-hyped statue project of installing, amongst others, her own statues in the North Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. All over the world, people have hailed it as an unprecedented event, saying that no other living person has ever done this before. Didi is obviously an extraordinary visionary who has successfully concretized her visions. In the spirit of a true leader, she has given herself back to the society. See how elegant she looks with one hand raised, symbolizing power, and the other hand holding a shoulder bag, representing wealth. I luv my Didi. xoxoxo.

Mayawati Didi's Statue

Now Varun Gandhi, the rising star of the BJP, says that if his party comes to power after 2012 assembly elections, it would replace all the statues of Didi in Lucknow with idols of Lord Rama. Oh dear, why does he want to spend another Rs 2,600 crores, when he can accomplish the goal in a fraction of that amount? I don’t want the roly-poly, new-generation rabble-rouser to actually indulge in any destructive activity a la Babri Masjid. Look at the following picture. A mere painting of the statues in this fashion would make his task less expensive, easier, and more constructive. Jai Shri Ram!

Mayawati Didi's statue painted as Lord Rama

After marveling over the above image, I was left wondering what would happen if the Congress Party came to power in Uttar Pradesh. I know, I know… Sonia Gandhi does not look like a religious person, but you never know. People become pious and God-fearing in old age, and if that were to happen, Sonia Maino Gandhi might want Didi’s statues to be replaced with Jesus Christ’s. In that case, I suggest she should also get the statues painted. Here's a secret, I like Jesus Christ, because I think he endorsed the Book that prohibits men from coveting their neighbor’s wife, while not putting such restrictions on women.

Mayawati Didi's statue painted as Jesus Christ

I would never ever want the Taliban to come to power anywhere in the world, let alone Uttar Pradesh, after what they had done to the gigantic 1,500-year-old Buddha statues at Bamyan, Afghanistan. The 114 and 165 feet high statues, carved into the sandstone mountain, were savagely destroyed by the rogues. My heart bleeds to imagine the same fate for Didi’s statues.

Mayawati Didi's statue destroyed by Taliban 

For this very reason, I don’t want Mulayam Singh Yadav to win either, because I know he will not listen to my suggestion.

Now it is likely that after some years, I will become famous through this blog, and people of Uttar Pradesh would insist on me becoming the Chief Minister of their state. Being of a kind, generous, and obliging nature, I would find it difficult to say no to their request. If you think that after becoming the Chief Minister, I would also try to change Didi’s statues, you are right. It’s true that I brag about my Didi every now and then, but she has never so much as given me a 10-paisa gift in my entire life.

Therefore, I would rather get all those statues painted in my likeness and in my favorite red coat. It's my all-time favorite because it’s the only coat that I own. My husband bought it for me in China many years ago. I have never washed it or dry-cleaned it, but it still looks new. It smells odd, but after having the coat on for a few minutes, the smell hardly bothers me. Rather it’s helpful in a way that when I’m in a crowd, people give me a lot of room. Out of the eight buttons on the front lapel, five are missing, but it’s not very noticeable.

Mayawati Didi's statue painted as Giribala Joshi

Oh, I can’t wait for the day when I acquire such statuesque status, but until then I’ll keep on singing this song, “Woh kya hai? Woh UP hai. UP mein? Bahut si moorat hain. Yeh moorat kaisi hoti hain? Mayawati  jaisi hoti hain.” (What’s that? That’s UP. What’s there in UP? There are a lot of statues. What do statues look like? They look like Mayawati.)

Did I tell you that I had a dream last night? Yes, I saw Kashi Ram Ji in heaven. He told me that he missed Didi a lot.

(Faking News: Mayawati Behenji's Facebook Wall)