Endless Itching, Mindless Scratch: 7 Quantum Keys To Life

The Essential Philosophy of Happiness

Endless Itching, Mindless Scratch: 7 Quantum Keys To Life (The Essential Philosophy of Happiness)

Product Details:
Hardcover: 420 pages
Publisher: Givine Center for Well Being of Mind, Body and Soul
Genre: Nonfiction, Self Improvement
Author: Dr. Tea Pakora (M.A.D.)
Language: English
Buy now: $17.95 $00.02

Book Review: Dr. Tea Pakora states in the introduction to his book that before he became a best-selling author, he was himself a great self-help seeker.
He devoured hundreds of self-help books, but then decided to write his own in order to recover from the bankruptcy he incurred while reading them. Despite the market saturation, rather in spite of it, he believed there was a need to present a unified holistic philosophy behind all those books.

He had discovered the truth the hard way, and wanted to share it with other hardcore self-help seekers. The book claims to serve as a rehab for all—the newly addicted as well as the chronic ones.

The first few lines, in a way, encapsulate Dr. Tea Pakoras’s dazzling new philosophy, “Life is an itch; keep scratching. You don’t have to end the itch by taking a shower or using some hydrocortisone-containing cream. No sirree, you need to enjoy it by mindless scratching.”

There are seven chapters, or as the author prefers to call them, “seven quantum keys to life,” in the book. And he makes it clear that it is not necessary to have all these keys—one or two will be enough to open the door to happiness.

1. The Biochemistry of Food and Nutrition: Eat everything you can lay your hands on, but do not forget to read the food labels on the products to learn about the nutrition facts, calorie content, ingredients, and things like that. At the end of this chapter you will find a list of food products and their harmful effects. Memorize the table for maximum benefit. After that, whenever you come across your friends or acquaintances eating or drinking something/anything, immediately cite its dire and toxic consequences. In the beginning, this will seem like a task, but within a few days, it will become a habit, providing you immense, indescribable pleasure to see the shell-shocked faces of your friends.

2. The Kinetics of Physical Fitness: Although a simple walk of 30 minutes most of the days provides a person with the basic health benefits, sadly it also ends the itch. Therefore, you are advised to join an expensive fitness center, be it a gym with modern equipments, a spa, a swimming pool, etc., or Pilates or Yoga classes. Besides upgrading your status in real life and giving you a reason to update your status on social networking sites, it will give you opportunities to feast your eyes on the best bodies in their most natural form. Nirvana, for sure.

3. The Fundamentals of the Special Relativity of Religious Doctrines: Belief in any God prescribed by your religion will provide you the pleasure and satisfaction of a good, benign scratch. Close your mind and shut your eyes to your personal troubles and the problems of the world at large, and worship your imaginary deity, reciting the mindless prayers. This is the most popular, reliable, and affordable key to happiness of all. It is also called the poor man’s key.

4. The Experimental Truths from Spiritual Gurus, Babas, Matas, and Swamis. These persons are extremely cunning, conniving, and well connected to solve the problems of their followers and make them happy. They know how to scratch the itch of the hoi polloi by mere gabbing. These megalomaniacs rightfully deserve their palatial residences and the hordes of slaves for their mind-blowing audacity. Get at least one charlatan as your family’s spiritual leader. This is an absolutely fantastic, fashionable, must-have key.

5. The Superconductivity of New Age Gurus: Instead of doing any useful work at home or at office, join a movement, or a support group, floated by a new age guru depending on your itch. The itch could be economic, intellectual, or emotional. You may also conduct and participate in group activities or training programs based on any of Dr. Tea Pakora's books. These activities can take place either online, in the neighborhood, or at your work place. The recession period is the best time to use this key. Go sloth go!

6. The Electromagnetism of Dreams: Don’t let your dream of becoming rich and famous go astray. Keep your fantasies alive and kicking. Dr. Tea Pakora assures you that there’s more joy in such reveries than actually making the effort to fulfill those dreams. If you are really itching to do something, then engage in some insignificant hobby in a half-hearted way in your spare time. Never actually waste all your energies in accomplishing something, because it will inflict pain and hardship on you. This key will provide you most pleasure if you talked and tweeted a lot about your day-to-day inane activities, past achievements, and future dreams.

7. The Thermodynamics of being a Skeptic and a Cynic: Whereas having blind faith in imaginary Gods and godmen will make you blissful, when it comes to fellow human beings never ever trust anyone. Not even the person reading this over your shoulder right now. Because if you start trusting, the trusted one will find it difficult to betray you, as a result, he will become more trustworthy and respected than you are. That will burn an inextinguishable fire in your heart for time indeterminate. On this same principle, never ever fall in love. “You don’t want to fall, but rise and rise up towards the sky with stars in your eyes where Gods reside. This world is full of vice. Heed my advice, and be vigilant, circumspect, and self-centric all the time.” Dr. Pakora certainly has a way with words.

Endless Itching, Mindless Scratch is a wonderful, fascinating book full of ancient wisdom and scientific terms. You will not be able to put it down even after reading it several times. It is an amazingly beautifully written book, and a treasure trove of accumulated human knowledge. I highly recommend this book. Even in this age of Kindle and iPad, you should buy three copies for each member of your family. One to keep as a souvenier at home, the second one to carry along while travelling, and the third one in case you want to read it.

(Related links: Amazon: 'Ageless Body, Timeless Mind' by Dr. Deepak Chopra, MD
YouTube: Richard Dawkins grills Deepak Chopra for using scientific jargon to explain hocus-pocus)