The Downfall Of My Trusted Lieutenants

Friday, May 17, 2013

They are still the most loved and cherished members of our family. In the past, they have always moved with us to various cities around the globe. Even now, one of them always accompanies us on our camping trips as well as to other outings where we stay in log cabins or family suits. We can not imagine our life without them.

But a recent incident—none of their fault in the least—have given them a bad rap. Now we can not even speak aloud our beloveds’ names at public places, nor can we Google them. I was even a bit apprehensive to mention them here, but then decided not to be a chicken any more. It hurts to know that they are treated like pariahs. These handsome dudes have fed me dal-chawal all my life, and I can not ditch them when the going has got tough for them. I would be the last person on this earth to be accused of being a fair-weather friend.

These lieutenants must have saved tons of energy over the years, and if they are embraced by everyone including the Americans, they would help us leave an energy-sufficient world for our future generations. Currently, I have five of them. Only I can understand each one’s behavioral nuances, eccentricities, and capriciousness. Once a newly relocated friend borrowed one of these, and it blew her lentil soup on her kitchen walls and ceiling. I handle them with extreme care and never scrub them harshly. If you are not finicky and superficial, you will also fall in love with their inner beauty.

My oldest one is 5-litre Prestige. It is from my husband’s premarital days. We now use it when we have guests over. I have always wondered what a bachelor did with such a large pressure cooker. I suppose Tamerlan Tsarnaev’s wife must have had similar feelings too.

Two 3-litre darlings were given to me as gifts on my wedding day by considerate neighbors with their names etched on the metal for eternity. I have used them to cook, rice, dal, and vegetables regularly all these years. I bought the fourth one, the tiniest of all, after my daughter was born to make khichdi for her during those pre-Gerber days. The fifth one, a Hawkins Futura, the black beauty, is a recent addition. We brought it from India on our last visit.

I was mulling over to adopt one more from India, when I read this horrifying news that a Saudi man was arrested at Detroit airport for carrying a pressure cooker in his luggage. He said that he brought it as a gift for his nephew, who was a student. And then the man was accused of lying when, at first, he said that he believed pressure cookers were not sold in the US, and then later added that his nephew had indeed bought one but it wasn't of good quality. The US officials would never understand why we need to fly pressure cookers from our native countries, when they are readily available here.

The incident which has caused the downfall of these marvels of science was an act of cowardice by two depraved young men called Tsarnaev brothers. They made bombs from pressure cookers to target innocent people at Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013.
Remains of the pressure-cooker bomb at Boston bombing site (via CNN)

Having a personal moment with my oldest one during our last year’s camping trip

Dear terrorists and FBI-ists, please understand that pressure cookers are meant to cook food, not to kill people, so stop maligning the innocent cookers.

Related:
1. Huffington Post: America's Newest Public Enemy Number 1: The Humble Pressure Cooker by Sandip Roy
2. what-if.xkcd.com: Pressure Cooker Explained

Goatie Bansal And Pawan Bakri

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Goatie Bansal And Pawan Bakri (May 10, 2043)

Thursday, May 14, 2043

My Dad’s Maruti (Mere Dad Ki Maruti): Movie Review

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Daddu (real name withheld on request) has agreed to write movie reviews for the Grist Mill. He is a closeted Hindi movie fan. Although he doesn't allow his family members to watch degraded movies, he himself goes out and enjoys every movie with his Khap friends. Their families believe that they have gone to panchayat meetings to discuss important social issues. At first, Daddu sent me reviews of the movies that had the word “youth” in their titles, but I explained to him that this was a family blog. Daddu writes in Hindi. I am translating it in English for you.

The Metamorphosis Of Mohammad Azam Khan

Monday, April 29, 2013

(In this article, the first part tells the real story of Mohammad Azam Khan’s April 2013 trip to the US, and the second part is fictional.)

Part I
This astonishing story is from 2013 AD. That year, Akhilesh Yadav, 39, the young chief minister of an Indian state, Uttar Pradesh, and his urban development minister, Mohammad Azam Khan, 64, were invited along with a 12-member delegation to attend a symposium on South Asia at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

The subject of the symposium was. "Harvard Without Borders: Mapping the Kumbh Mela." As the chief minister of UP, Akhilesh Yadav had successfully hosted the Maha Kumbh, a 55-day religious congregation, which takes place every 12 years in the sacred city of Allahabad at the confluence of the rivers Ganga and Yamuna, and is attended by tens of millions of people from India and abroad.

Why I Became A Pessimist

Thursday, April 25, 2013

All of you must be aware that scientists keep on experimenting and publishing results of new studies. For example, one of the studies taught me that if I put a foot in front of the other foot, I will move forward. I am a great fan of such studies. So you can imagine my excitement when a study proved that pessimists live longer, happier lives. Now I am also a sucker for all sorts of tips and advice that promise longevity because I feel my life has just begun and I still have many unfulfilled dreams.

It gives me shivers to think how foolishly optimistic I have been until now. It could have cut my life short any day in the past. Hence after reading how optimists die early and pessimists live long and happy lives, I decided to change my attitude.

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