Until a few days ago, I used to be mighty scared of Narendra Modi. The reason behind it was that I used to watch a lot of TV, which projected Modiji as an arrogant, Muslim-hating, self-applauding, patronizing monster. It made such an adverse impact on my psyche that I started having nightmares and hallucinations. Whenever I heard the word Modi, or saw his name or picture in print, I became jittery. Even when my husband called me moti, I would panic for no reason.

Eek!! Why do people upload such scary pictures?? (IBNLive)

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Maya Kodnani and Narendra Modi (via countercurrents.org)

We trusted you all these years and now you betray us. Why you no save Maya Kodnani and Babu Bajrangi? Why you want death penalty for these brave warriors?

We have heard many stories of royal intrigues, conspiracies, and Machiavellian designs from the past, but this is the most shocking tale of betrayal in the recent history. Just because we called you Hindu Hridaya Samrat, you have started acting like those samrats or kings from the past, who used to kill their own brothers and fathers to acquire thrones? You have dealt a severe blow to all the Hindus.

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It so happened that Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck were chatting online, and during their passionate back and forth, they accidentally spilled in the chat window how lonely they were in spite of their bunch of ardent followers.

“It’s lonely at the top,” he wrote.

“You betcha,” she replied.

“Heads of state mingle with each other at G8 Summit, business leaders have meetings to discuss their issues, movie stars gather at award ceremonies, even the petty bloggers manage to hold bloggers meets.”

So Palin and Beck decided to have a Rhetoricians’ Convention. Palin then informed me about the meeting and its agenda:

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Aishwarya Rai

Even when I hadn’t heard about her, I wanted to be Aishwarya Rai. Last Saturday, when I saw the beauty queen at an Indian restaurant, where we had gone to lunch, my repressed aspirations sprung up once again. And I tried to pacify my wanton heart, as I always do when overcome with unreasonable longings, by reciting this couplet by Bahadur Shah Zafar, the last Mughal emperor:

Do tell these desires to find a home elsewhere,
My miserable heart cannot host all of them!

(Kah do in hasraton se kahin aur ja basen,
Itni jagah kahan hai dil-e-daagdaar mein!)

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