Kindly Accept My Wishes For The Year 2012

May you burn in hell fire! May you get struck by lightning, falling meteor, or satellite debris! May you spoil your relationship with your friends and family members with your greed and selfishness! May your heart always be filled with cynicism, hatred and jealousy! May laziness, pessimism, and fatalism take control of your life! Now relax, I have stopped wishing such things to anyone or everyone.

There was a time when I was not as mature, prudent, judicious, and sagacious as I am today, and I used to curse people with accidents, pestilences, earthquakes, fires, bankruptcies, etc. Most of the time, my prophecies came true. People said that I had a “black tongue.”

Though I had this power of bringing on disasters, I didn't have any control over the consequences. So when I wished my sister chickenpox, I also got infected catching it from her. When I wished earthquake to the neighbor living one floor above us, we were terrified to see our fans and chandeliers shaking violently. Similarly, wishing fire to the person living on the ground floor once caused much damage to my house as well. My bankrupt friends were another headache. They would keep pestering for loan and frequently drop by uninvited during meal times.

Thus to save myself from the overwhelming miseries of my friends and relatives, I have started wishing them only good luck and good health. Their good heath ensures that I am not infected. All my friends have now been bestowed with exemplary wisdom, and have stopped doling out foolish advice to me. Rich friends have been extremely generous. I have never been so happy.

Therefore even if your success and happiness give me a gnawing feeling and sleepless nights, I wish you all the best. May you own big vacation homes, boats/yachts, private jets, island resorts etc. etc. May your heart be filled with kindness, generosity, and charity towards friends like me! Have a wonderful 2012!

I hope the big international players like USA, Iran, Pakistan, China, India, etc. do not stumble upon my idea. If they started following this strategy, and allowed others to live peacefully and let each other prosper, the world would become such a boring place.

(Pictures: Hellfire from Google images and Happy 2012 from 123greetings.com)