Ban Jaipur Literature Festival

If I ever want to go to any festival, I would go to Kumbh Mela to wash away my sins. Never to such a sinful, blasphemous literature festival as the one held in Jaipur.

Even if the organizers send me a private jet, or announce some award for me, or promise to read passages from the Grist Mill, I will not join the derelict, delinquent, morally bankrupt book peddlers.

And after the shameful Rushdie episode, let me ask you, whoever in his right frame of mind would want to go there?

Ever since I discovered that this festival was a brainchild of William Dalrymple, I have become highly skeptical. Yes, he is the same person who portrays India as a country of djinns, dervishes, devdasis, and other despicable stuff. He has singlehandedly destroyed the reputation of the great Mughals. His books should be banned not only in India, but all over the world.

Have a look at this year’s guest list at the festival. Besides Satan Rushdie, whom we successfully kept out, there are Michael Ondaatje, Ben Okri, Tom Stoppard, David Remnick, Philip Gourevitch, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Dawkins—each one a greater blasphemer than the other. If I started writing how these vermin have indulged in hurting the sentiments of common people, this would become a book-length article, and I absolutely abhor books.

Look at Oprah Winfrey! The way she talks about women’s empowerment and women’s freedom. She is a flagrant picture of immodesty. Tau where are you? Khap Panchayat, Bajrang Dal, Sri Ram Sene, how did you allow this woman to enter India? Wait until her documentary on Mumbai slum women and Varanasi widows comes out then all of you will understand what I am saying. Don’t complain later that I didn’t warn you.

Richard Dawkins! OMG, OMG…, he is the most blasphemous person on the earth. Satan Rushdie is a piglet compared to this pigosaurus, and yet he is invited. Have you read his book, The God Delusion? It contains highly disparaging, demeaning, desecrating literature. He shouldn’t have been allowed to trample the pious soul of our Godly country.

Books should be completely banned in India. They disrupt our religious harmony. In fact, any form of reading or writing should be banned. Such activities incite people to THINK, which is horrible. Whenever ordinary people get time from their daily grind, they should provide their brains complete rest. People should be taught only so much reading and writing as is needed to read the holy books and sufficient enough to read the signs while protesting, so that they don't hold banners and placards upside down.

Say no to books, say no to literature, say no to literary festivals. Together we can do it! Yes, we can!

Related Links: 
WSJ: A guide to the 2012 Jaipur Literature Festival
BBC: Five highlights of the Jaipur festival