A Tale of Two Revolutions

(Picture courtesy samvada.org)

In the year 2011, a sizeable percentage of Indian population woke up from a deep slumber not because an army of termites had eaten away the couch they were sleeping on, but from the drum beats of Anna Hazare’s managers.

The managers specifically targeted the sociable Facebookers, Baba Ramdev’s simple followers, and Sri Sri’s suave breathers. All of them except a tiny minority instantly fell in love with Anna. In other words, Anna ki lagan was bujhaye na bane for many, and lagaye na lage for a few. He was an adorable affable old man, always saying nice things, and ready to sit on hunger strike for good causes.

Together they upped the ante of beating drums to kill the termites that were eating away the frame of the nation. They also wanted to wake up the parliamentarians to make a Lokpal Sword (Lokpal means protector of the people in Sanskrit) that would kill the pig-sized termites owned by the very same parliamentarians—a tough job indeed. In 2011, Anna fasted for five days in April, and for twelve days in August. At the end of both the fasts, Anna was declared victorious against the termites.

Many Annaphiles and Annaphobes believed that Team Anna wanted to kill the termites with only two methods—drum beats and Lokpal Sword. Hence they continuously crossed verbal swords with each other instead of targeting their common enemy, the termites.

Team Anna was made up of intelligent people, barring some dhongi babas and gurus. But I guess, their support was necessary to bring maximum people into the fold, as Indians had been conditioned to revere all types of dhongi babas.

When the 2014 parliamentary elections were declared, Team Anna relentlessly campaigned for the candidates who agreed to make very strong Lokpal Sword. This event became a turning point in Indian history.

After the elections, the coalition government unanimously elected the adorable Anna as President of India. And then, both the houses, without any delay, produced and sanctioned the use of the anti-termite sword also known as the Lokpal Bill.

The Lokpal members or the sword-wielders now started disbursing instant justice. At first, all the ill-gotten money—whether hidden at homes, in bank lockers, or in Swiss banks—was acquired by the government.

And then punishments were awarded according to the magnitude of crimes:

1. People who had made illegal transactions in crores of rupees were deported to a horror island full of ghosts, demons, snakes, lizards, and tigers.

2. Those who had indulged in frauds amounting to lakhs of rupees were dispatched around the world to fight the religious fundamentalists.

3. Rest of the people whose crimes fell in the category of less than one lakh rupees were allowed to stay at their homes, but publicly received as many numbers of lashes.

All these measures were quite effective in punishing the termite owners. But the termite population did not decrease as people continued to feed them on the sly. Moreover many innocents were inadvertently punished along with the corrupt ones. Even the family members of the corrupt ones mourned their misfortune, “Corrupt the to kya hua, the to hamare papa hi. After all he was our papa. Whatever he did, he did for our family. He was a selfless person. He also donated regularly to temples and orphanages.”

Eventually, people got tired of the punishments. Disappointment and disenchantment began to seep into the national psyche just as soot would collect on the trees in Delhi. People craved for their freedom and lifestyle of yore.

At the end of 2017, just like the first rain of the season that washes away the soot, a new savior appeared on the TV and computer screens. She promised to fix the termite problem without harsh punishments.

The lady had been working for the emancipation of Indian women for a long time. But now she pledged her life to eliminate the hardships encountered by the common people. An intelligent team of graduates from IITs and IIMs drafted a revolution complete with a highly effective media campaign for her and persuaded her to sit on a hunger strike to demand the dismissal of the draconian Lokpal Bill.

She agreed as she also wanted to lose weight for her next music video. Crowds surged on the streets of Delhi and everywhere else too. People started wearing two-piece bikinis over their usual attire to support the new superstar savior. The bikinis were inscribed with, “I am Rakhi Sawant.”

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Read here how the campaign spearheaded by India Against Corruption and Anna Hazare is making a positive impact on the society

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi