Maria Sharapova And Sachin Fans

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

What has this world come to? Why are people acting like thin-skinned tomatoes, squirting out juice at the slightest prick? Our country has become a nation of outrages. People just can't tolerate other people's point of view. To all the outraged people out there, I have a simple message--imagine yourself in others' situation before criticizing them. I am deeply pained and anguished by the horrible stuff written by the paid media denouncing Sachin Tendulkar's fans. Yes, the columnists do get paid.

To those who are unaware of this national crisis of pride and honor, here is a brief summary. Maria Sharapova--whoever she is--was playing tennis at Wimbledon--wherever it is. Our cricketing legend, Bharat Ratna, master blaster, Sachin Tendulkar, whom we revere as God, needed some entertainment. So like the raja-maharajas of yore, who used to watch nautch girls shake their booties for amusement, or like Salman Dabangg Khan, who watches Munni's badnam dance and halkat jawani when he is tired of thrashing goons, Sachin, tired of being worshipped, went to Wimbledon, probably near Jhoomritalaiya, to see Maria Sharapova play tennis, some sort of jumping game played in short skirts.

Now imagine if the nautch girl had said, "I don't know this fatso," indicating Maharaja So and So, what punishment she would have got? Yes, she would have been buried alive between two brick walls. Imagine Munni saying, "Who let this orangutan loose?" on seeing Dabangg Khan. Bhai would have certainly run his Toyota Land Cruiser over her.

This is what Maria Sharapova did. She uttered the blasphemous words, "I don't," when asked, "Do you know who Sachin is?" Since then we, the Sachin fans, have been trying to educate Maria Sharapova. Yeah, we have been continually posting insightful comments on each and every picture on Maria Sharapova's Facebook page. We have posted more than 100,000 comments, showing Munni her true place, reclaiming the lost glory of Bharatmata, proving that ours is the best country, and Sachin, the greatest player in the world.

This was all going well until I came across the pseudo-intellectuals out there, writing disparagingly about Sachin fans. Calling us names like Sachintards. Many of my fan-fellows can't even defend themselves coherently. The Grist Mill has always stood for the weak and the defenseless. Most of my brothers are weak in language skills. Some can only copy-paste comments, some can only repeat, Sachin Sachin Sachin..., and some can only write abuses. But one thing is for sure, all of them have hearts of gold--pure 24-carat gold. They may seem hard from outside, but inside they are all squishy squashy, like small eggs that can't hatch, can't grow into chickens.

I sincerely wish that Sachin Tendulkar also comes out in open to boost his fans' morale and congratulate them for their hard work on Maria Sharapova's Facebook page.

26 comments:

  1. Ohh! Sachin still in d news! Poor me, I was just unaware of d whole hullabaloo; shall blame fifa 4 dat ;)

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    1. Now who is fifa? Sachin is da best!!!

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  2. Bhai ramming his Land cruiser...LOL.

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    1. In real life he would never do that :P

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  3. It is getting out of control..Its carzy..
    So what if she doent know Sachin?
    I dont know her...So what?

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    1. So true Chowlaji, as Donald Rumsfeld have said, "We know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."

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  4. Bhai might take offense to it Giribala :P and Bhai fans, what to say...

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    1. Of course they should be offended if Munni called Salman Bhai an orangutan :P

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  5. Taking adulation to the skies........

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    1. At least they are reaching for the skies :-)

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  6. Do take ki chhori.. Sachinva ko nahi jaanti. Aukaat kya hai iksi?

    Wonderful of you to stick up for the poor Sachin fans. Aaj kal ke zamaane me kaun kisi ke kaam aata hai? Tumne to saabit kar diya ke aajkal bhi insaniyat zinda hai.

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    1. वही तो ! एक आप ही हैं जो मुझे पहचानती हैं की मैं कितनी परोपकारी, दयावान और संवेदनशील हूँ. साक्षात करुणा की मूर्ति. Thank you so much :-)

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    2. Satyavachan Satyavachan Apko kshat kshat naman.

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    3. सब आप ही का आशीर्वाद है, अवा दी! आपका नमन स्वीकार करूंगी तो मुझे पाप लगेगा :-|

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  7. LOL!! You have opened my eyes to the right perspective, Giribala!! I too refuse to acknowledge who Sharapova is!! Maria who?!!

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    1. That is the spirit! Sachin is da best!

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  8. This Maria whoever did not even know for whose benefit she was dancing in that court? OFF with her head :)

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    1. Yeah, like Jayaprada saying, "I don't know who you are," to Amitabh Bachchan in Sharabi, after dancing, singing 'mujhe naulakha manga de re...'

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  9. :) its good she didnt know in whose presence she was playing.. if she had, she would have gone all weak in the knees and each shot would have ended in the net.. after all he is GOD no?

    Nice piece Giribala, this is my first time at your blog. Will def. stop by more often!

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    1. Thanks Seeta! Nice knowing you :-)

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  10. I tell you, this Maria Sharapova, not quite sharp as the name suggests, is she now? I am glad you put her in her rightful place!
    Sachin, Sachin, Sachin!

    (Loved the post, as usual!)

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    1. Her name should be Dumbanova. She is so dumb that she might not even know that the UN has declared the Indian National Anthem as the best in the world.

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  11. Sachin ji ki Jai and Maria is such a bad influence on our country. She is a foreigner and that too a woman who plays sports wearing short short short clothes.. Totally un sanskari ! Che !
    Loved this post Giribala ! Its a vintage post !

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    1. Thanks Ruchira! And she plays in front of men. Shameless and un-sanskari. Let us start a petition on change.org for Babuji Alok Nath to do her kanyadaan.

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  12. lol sachin's huge pot-belly might've made maria not to recognize him :p

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  13. Now imagine if the nautch girl had said, "I don't know this fatso," :p i loved this line most

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