Unnatural Acts

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

(Via Evangelical Right)
India's main opposition party, Bharatiya Janata Party, has endorsed the re-criminalization of gay sex by Supreme Court, saying that they believed homosexuality is an unnatural act. It means that people with certain sexual orientations will be deemed criminals and will be either punished, or harassed by everyone and anyone including the state police.

Before proceeding further, I want to make my position clear on this issue. All my friends, even those who know me fleetingly, will vouch for my claim that I am a nature-loving person, always fond of sharing pictures of mountains, streams, trees, flowers, birds and bees. I detest, rather abhor, all unnatural things and activities. Now, I do not know whether homosexuality is natural or unnatural, for that I will have to consult my gay friends. But I know about a lot of other unnatural activities blatantly taking place in our society.

The most unnatural act is the custom of forced arranged marriages. It is horrifying on the scale only next to human sacrifice and sati system, which have almost been abolished. If we look around, we will find that we live in highly unnatural surroundings. Our houses, gadgets, communication devices, modes of transportation etc. etc. are all unnatural. I pine for the good old days when our ancestors lived in caves, au naturel, covering their bodies with leaves, bark, or animal skin only to protect themselves from the elements of nature, ate unprocessed food, had sex with anyone they desired without any rituals.

Even after transposing my whole social circle into that golden age of natural living in my imagination and thinking hard about the relationships in those circumstances, I could not figure out if homosexuality was natural or unnatural, so I asked my gay friend Anshuman Das to solve this conundrum. He advised me to read his novel The Memory of a Face or his autobiographical account Always Forever and discover for myself. This was an awfully outrageous suggestion. For the record, I am against all kinds of literary activities. Reading and writing are highly unnatural acts. People indulging in such activities should be thrown into the craters of active volcanos.

Meanwhile, I am in a fix as to who is more suitable to be anointed as India's Santorum-- BJP's president Shri Rajnath Singhji or their Prime Ministerial candidate Shri Narendra Modiji, or Baba Ramdevji who claims that he can cure homosexuals.

Related:
Indian Express: Gay sex verdict: Rajnath Singh says BJP cannot justify unnatural acts
Hindustan Times: Ramdev offers "to cure" homosexuals at his Haridwar Ashram
Evangelical Right: The Birds and the Bees may be Gay
The New York Times: Can Animals Be gay?
American Psychological Association: Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality

12 comments:

  1. I think I just committed an unnatural act. I just read your post and laughed out loud :/

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    Replies
    1. This is the limit of blasphemy, Purba Ray!

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    2. Just committed the unnatural act of reading this one! Keep them coming in New Year, Giribala:)

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  2. Is eye-winking natural or unnatural?

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    1. Those suffering from eye-winking should join the Yoga classes at the Grist Mill Academy. We can cure them and make them wink even more vigorously :p

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  3. Only you could have thought of such a rejoinder--carry on my dear and Happy New Year!

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    1. Thanks Induji! Happy New Year to you as well. Keep spreading joy :-)

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  4. Brushing our teeth is also "unnatural". So is wearing clothes. And the Internet? Phaw!

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    1. OMG, really? I can do away with brushing teeth, but I hope the Supreme Court doesn't criminalize wearing clothes :-/

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  5. You know how they say - Two steps forward, one step back? I can't recall the last time our country took a step forwards, but we certainly never miss the opportunity to take that back step. Maybe no one wants to go forward because they can't see what's ahead - difficult to see if you have your head up your own ass. (It's a perfectly natural position for some!)

    Great post, Giribala. Have missed your writing for a while.

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