My Life's Problems

(Image: 2012Connection -The Maya Meeting)

I agree that my problems are nothing of the kind that kill people. That's why after each setback, I close my eyes and derive strength from these ordinary words put together into an inspirational quote by Nietzsche, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

I have been struggling with some problems these days. I will not bother you with all my troubles, even though I know you are gleefully looking forward to hear all of them to glean some satisfaction from the knowledge that someone has more serious, severe, dire life problems than the ones that you are having. There is no need to feel embarrassed. Schadenfreude is a universal emotion, besides it is a good word to teach your kids if they aspire to take part in spelling competitions.

The first problem I want to share with you is about something I had done. I was a party to a fraudulent scheme in which I made a lot of money and then I got caught, but I lied and eased my way out. Though I am out of the trouble, the problem is that my conscience keeps pricking me relentlessly.

Another problem is related to a house that I bought for my parents with their life savings. It was a big house on a mountain. We could see snow-capped mountains from the rear windows and balcony. And when I looked down, there was a beautiful unfathomable deep gorge. After buying the house I remembered that unlike me my mother abhorred nature. She finds it a bit scary. I thought I would solve this problem by telling her to keep the windows shut, but then I noticed another catch. Although the first floor was spacious with an open living room surrounded by bedrooms, I realized my mom would have difficulty climbing the stairs with her troublesome knees. And the problem with the ground floor was that there was a thoroughfare - the main road of the town - passing through the bedroom. Has anyone ever owned such a house? If yes, how does one live amid traffic?  

And the last problem that I am going to unburden on you is even more complicated. I fell in love with a very rich guy because we shared a few eccentricities which I will not divulge here. I visited his home and saw that his other family members also did nothing and lived off only on their inheritance. The atmosphere in the house was also weird. Each one of them was lazying around in pajamas and looked overweight. The only person moving in the house was their butler, a maharaj, like the one we see in old Hindi movies, carrying tea cups in a tray.

Such have been my problems. I don't know how to deal with them. I assure you that I did not make any of up these like I usually do in my other posts. These are all real dreams. And whenever I wake up, I find my subconscious embroiled in a complicated contemplation over some intriguing dream. These out-of-the-world problems are more problematic than the real world problems. At least in the real world one can act and strive to fix the problems. Whereas after a distressing dream all I can do is go back to sleep in the hope that the dream continues and the problem gets solved. My only comfort is the belief that since these problems cannot kill me they will only make me stronger.

PS: If you were expecting real problems, I am very sorry to disappoint you. But don't lose heart, I just realized I do have a real problem, which I will write about in my next post.