It’s My Life with Raghuraj Pratap Singh aka Raja Bhaiya

Friday, March 30, 2012

Hello everybody, I am Raveena Tandon. Welcome to Vodaphone presents It’s My Life powered by Stayfree Advance, in which one celebrity re-lives their life, and we get to experience the lows and highs with them. In every era, there comes a leader who captivates public imagination and becomes their mai-baap-sarkaar. Today, we have among us one such big gun, who has been serving his subjects, or his praja, for the past twenty years. You can see from the picture on the screen how well-off the praja has become under various rajas like him. Please welcome, the one and only, highly respected, Kunwar Raghuraj Pratap Singh. Applause, music.


Seven dancers in colorful Punjabi costumes appear on the stage and dance
 to a song played to the tune of Daler Mehdi’s Bolo Ta Ra Ra Ra.

(Raja Bhaiya, Raja Bhaiya, Raja Bhaiya) 2
Down with Congress, down with BJP,
Down with Behenji Mayawati, Bolo Raja Bhaiya,
(Raja Bhaiya, Raja Bhaiya, Raja Bhaiya) 2

Raghuraj Pratap Singh, looking chic in his black safari suit and trendy glasses, strides and reaches in front of the dancers. From the other direction, Raveena Tandon, in a glowing red-golden dress and flowing tresses, climbs the stage to greet Raja Bhaiya. Clapping, applause, music. Dance stops and the interview begins.

Raveena Tandon (RT): Welcome to our show, Raja Bhaiya! Is it okay to call you Raja Bhaiya? Yes? So Raja Bhaiya, can you share the high and low points of your life with our audience.

Raja Bhaiya (RB): Sure! When Samajwadi Party comes to power they make me a cabinet minister and when Mayawati Behenji becomes chief minister, she puts me in jail.

RT: Wow! (It sounds like a little pup barking at a big dog to show its admiration or attract attention.)

Raveena Tandon reunites Raja Bhaiya with his dad Raja Uday Pratap Singh, his cousin Akhshay Pratap Singh, four childhood friends, eight members of his youth brigade, and then surprise, surprise, Akhilesh Yadav and Mulayam Singh Yadav. They all come walking through a bright tunnel, talk how awesome Raja Bhaiya has been, and sit down on couches with tireless smiles and occasional chuckles.

RT: You are such a beloved and respected person. For strange reasons, you remind me of my favorite co-star Govinda.

RB: Heh! Who are you comparing me with? He is like one of those clowns that are appointed at our court for entertainment. Whereas, I come from a family that has ruled Kunda for centuries and even now, we hold a daily court where we listen to the problems of the common people and provide instant justice. No one in our constituency dares to disobey our dictats.

I am also college educated. After I completed school in Allahabad, my father Raja Uday Pratap Singh did not want me to study further, as he believed educated people are often cowards, but I am the one making my them proud with my bravery.


RT: Wow! (It sounds like a little pup in awe of a big dog.) Let’s move to next section. Like every guest who comes on our show, you will be shown a collage of headlines. You have to clarify any one of these for our audience. You can choose any one:



RT: Wow! (It sounds like a yelp of a frightened little pup who just witnessed a big dog maul its littermates.)

RB: Of course, I am their raja. You cannot wish this away. Our family has ruled this land and its people for centuries. My respected father Raja Udai Pratap Singh still flies our royal flag on top of our palace. Whatever I do, I do for the welfare of the common people. Ours is a feudal society in which quarrels sometimes lead to bloodshed, but you cannot blame me for that.

RT: Wow! (It sounds like a confused puppy.) And now as we bring this episode to an end, we have one more surprise for you. A special video message from a very special person!

A Message from Mayawati Behenji
“First of all, I want to congratulate Kunwar Raghuraj Pratap Singh for winning the election and becoming a minister by piggybacking Akhilesh Yadav. Good job! At least you have blown the cover of his purported clean image. Second, I want to tell a story from your childhood, which is known to very few people. One day at school, Kunwar Raghuraj Pratap Singh learned that “Ku” means bad and “Su” means good. So when he came back home, he ordered all his servants and family members to address him as Suwar ji, meaning pig. Ha ha ha ha....”

Related Links:
NDTV: The Best of It's My Life  with Raveena Tandon
TEHELKA: Honour thy brother, flay thy foe
GLOBAL POST: Mayawati vs. Pratapgarh's Raja Bhaiya
FINANCIAL EXPRESS: The long rule of Raja Bhaiya
A READER'S WORDS: The Honest Policeman
Update March 2013: NDTV: Murdered UP cop Zia-ul-Haque had prepared list of 47 cases against Raja Bhaiya
Picture sources: Raja Bhaiya hindu.com, Mayawati Behenji reuters.com

34 comments:

  1. the ending..omg..the ending...epic conclusion,i am still laughing

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  2. I have been missing your posts really badly and now here you come! Quintessential Grist Mill post and Superb as the word goes. Behen-ji's message was a genious stroke!

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  3. that was a fun read although i don't know much about these politicians.

    by the way, the headlines are gruesome. are those real.

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    1. Thanks for reading! Yes, all the headlines are true :-)

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  4. Wow Wow...masterstroke at the end.

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  5. So Behenji had the last laugh :)

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  6. I need to keep up more, is this based off a show? True to your style the piece seems intuitive with a message at the end.

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    Replies
    1. Yes Gayatri, I watched a few episodes of 'It's my Life' on NDTV website, which gave me the idea for this post. Here is one: http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/its-my-life/its-my-life-with-vidya-balan/224859

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  7. Extraordinary, the twist in the end :). The post was hilarious :). Loved it!

    http://rachnaparmar.com

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  8. He is not the only one???
    Lalu was in jail.
    Kalmadi was in jail.
    162 MPs have charges against them.

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    Replies
    1. Of course, he not the only one of his tribe, but I thought it would be better to pay tribute to one at a time :-)

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  9. Quoting The Financial Express [4th link] -
    After he completed school in Allahabad, his father Raja Uday Pratap Singh (who was Doon educated) reportedly decreed that his son would study no further, as “educated people are often cowards”.

    Should've squeezed this one in the interview. :P

    Piggyback > Suwar > Pig - Nice wordplay. :)

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    1. I found that bit interesting too!! Let me see if I can fit it for the future readers :D

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  10. mistress of satire.. i bow (wow ) humbly to this post writer

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  11. Call this person "highly respected" is a shame. This man is a crook, claimed murderer and now his shameless remarks about the protesters as publicity seekers must be pig and an asshole and not a damn Kunwar.

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    Replies
    1. I am afraid that pigs would be offended! :o

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