You Can Be A Snob Too!

Snobs
(Picture courtesy thesmartly.com)

Who doesn’t want to be a snob? You must have encountered many a snob in your life, secretly admired them, and ardently desired to be like them, but didn’t know how to become one. Well, until now because in the next few lines you are going to learn the finer aspects of snobbery, which you will find easy to inculcate in yourself.

Even if you consider snobbery an uncharted territory, you will definitely discover a hidden snob inside you, and will be able to unleash him in his full glory on this world. If you already are a snob, these tips will help you become a better snob.


1. Learn to distinguish: It is all right to believe that human beings are created equal, but some, as George Orwell might put it, are created more equal than others, like those who are either born in illustrious families or those who excel in their fields with talent and hard work to become rich and famous. The rest, of course, are hoi polloi busy with their day-to-day, mundane jobs. You should learn to distinguish between these two types and rightfully assume that you belong to the superior group even if you are good at nothing.

2. You should show extreme regard to those whom you consider superior, and should have an innate desire to be associated with them. Do follow whatever is hyped by them. Even if you cannot afford high-end stores and restaurants, know their names and how to pronounce them correctly.

3. Now that you believe you belong to the elite circle, act superior in front of the people who you think are less cultured and absolutely devoid of class. Treat them with disdain, and condescension, and disparage their life style. They are not your type. Hence you are not obliged to tolerate them. Never let your guard down in front of them.

4. Learn appropriate body language. When you are in front of the superiors keep fawning all the time. Put on your best smile and act with sophistication. While in front of the inferiors, put on a dour expression, keep your lips pursed with corners downwards, the eyebrows slightly raised, and the nose turned up as if you have encountered a foul smell.

5. Remain ignorant. Other than learning the names of expensive brands or anything hyped by the superiors, you don’t have to give a hoot about anything. The more ignorant you remain the better snob you would make because knowledge engenders humility and empathy, both of which are antidotes to snobbery.

Now that you know the secret formula of becoming a snob, go set yourself loose on the humanity in any of these incarnations—a wealthy snob, a page-3-type snob, a music snob, a food snob, a cantonment snob, a nationalistic, a religious, or a casteist snob, an English-medium-educated snob, an intellectual or a literary snob, a blogging snob or a social-media snob... the scope is simply limitless!