Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells! Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Festivities are in the air. Christians are very happy. They will celebrate Jesus Christ’s birthday as Christmas on December 25th. For them, this is like Diwali, Dussera, Holi, Raksha Bandhan, Makar Sankranti, Shivratri, Navratri, Ram Navami, Ganesh Chaturthi, Pongal, Durga Puja, all in one. Hindus are also happy because they like festivals and holidays. My Hindu neighbors decorate their homes with more lights on Christmas than on Diwali.

Last year, I wished someone a happy Christmas, but she told me that I should say, “Marry Christmas.” So, marry Christmas, dear friends!

Jesus has the largest number of followers, about 2.1 billion, on this earth. I found out this bitter truth from the internet. Seriously, such information should be banned. It hurt my religious sensibilities and felt like a slap on my cheek. Prophet Mohammad is a close second with 1.7 billion followers. This was a slap on the other cheek. Lord Rama is third with 1 billion followers, and shares this attention with several other Hindu deities. I am considering shaving my head at Tirumala Venkateswara Temple at Tirupati to make him the most popular among the three.

On second thought, I should not be so despondent because these guys have been dead for thousands of years. If you go by the Facebook pages of the living, currently, Eminem is leading with about 49 million followers, Rihanna has 48 million and Lady Gaga has 46 million followers. They need to spruce up their PR if they want to beat the dead guys.

As the year 2011 is coming to an end, let us evaluate how the nations around the world have done regarding the teachings of their messiah, prophet, or incarnation, or whatever they like to call their source of enlightenment.

The most powerful nations with Christian population like USA and its European allies have certainly achieved a lot to brag about. Following Jesus Christ’s top advice of ‘forgiveness’ and ‘do unto others,’ they have forgiven a lot. Iraq has now been forgiven. The last of the US troops left Iraq on December 19, 2011 after almost nine years of unforgiving war, which cost trillions of dollars, over 4,800 allied troops and over 100,000 Iraqi lives. The second axis of evil Kim Jong Il was also forgiven, and he died a natural death. The third axis, Iran, recently downed a spy craft, RQ-170 Sentinel drone, which belonged to US. But the superpower has, until now, shown utter restraint and graciousness as preached by Jesus Christ.

I suppose, I don’t need to go into the finer details of how the Muslim countries, like Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, and other Middle East nations, have been thriving and experiencing peaceful times.

India, the world's largest democracy with a large number of Lord Rama’s followers, has not been left behind either. We have been successful in being one of the most corrupt and highly misogynistic societies.

So far, all the nations have done extremely well. Let us hope the spirit continues in the year 2012 as well. Meanwhile, let us enjoy the festive season. It is that time of the year when everyone talks about Santa. I also want to share a short story.

Once, Santa in his red shirt and white flowing beard was having a great time at a children’s party. He was gobbling up one delight after another.

Suddenly a kid asked him, “Who are you?”

“I am Santa,” he replied in a hushed tone.

In a little while, Santa was surrounded by many kids. They unleashed their demands for toys, because Christmas was around the corner.

Baffled, Santa shouted, “Oye Banta, what is all this? Didn't you tell me I could get free food here without any hassle?”

(Picture Source: christmas39.com)


  1. Well said! Both 'halal' and 'Ram'spirits are replaced by 'haram'in delivery of services to the the citizen and society!

    And yes Santa to 'Santa'is hilarious.
    Merry X-mas and Happy and Healthy New Year!

  2. Mary Xmas to all your friends and your family.

  3. Thanks @Udaya Sir and @Chowla Sir!! Happy holidays to you :D

  4. :) Happy Holidays (not marry Christmas) to you!

  5. Well said, and completely agree to your views, that followers status of deities shudnt be discussed in public forums. Its an easy provocation in diversified religion set up.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  6. Marry Christmas Giri. Very interesting!!

  7. USA and Europe need to start worshiping Goddess Laxmi to emerge from the Eurozone crisis...
    Merry Christmas!

  8. @Gayatri: Thanks ! Happy holidays to you too :-)

    @Vyoma: That was satire! Thanks for the follow :-)

    @Meeta: Thank you! :-)

    @Alka: ha ha ...good advice !!

  9. RAMzan mein Ram hai aur DiwALI mein Ali lekin phir bhi hum dharam kay naam pay ladtay hai.


    Forget everything and just enjoy this festive time. Here is a video which tells u how santa delivers gifts. Have fun...

    Jingle ballay, Jingle ballay, Jingle Ballay Ballay..

    Merry Christmas

  10. @Aryan Rox: Nice video! Thanks for sharing :-)

  11. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :)
    Wondering where is the largest democracy?

  12. @harsh: Thanks for the wishes! And thanks for the correction....:D

  13. Misogynist so difficult to spell and so easy to practice :)

  14. Its Merry Christmas. Not 'Marry'

    1. You are right!! It was a joke :-)


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