How To Raise A Happy Child

(In the following article I have used the pronoun ‘he’ for the child instead of ‘he or she’ for the sake of simplicity.)

Source: istockphoto.com

It doesn’t matter whether your child is a genius or an average brat, what matters is if he or she knows how to be happy. I am going to illuminate how to equip your child with an inbuilt fountain of happiness forever and ever.

If you are not burdened with the task of raising children, be your own child, and use these tips to enhance your own happiness.

Your child needs encouragement at every step. As soon as the little one starts mingling with others of his kind, let him freely push, shove, or beat up other kids, although you should surreptitiously keep an eye on the tiny tots for the safety of your own tot. The sight will not only warm up your heart, but also develop mountain-like self-confidence in your child.

Always be ready to fulfill his demands to make him feel like the center of the universe. He should be raised like a prince, a nawab, so that when he grows up he treats everyone in a kingly manner, making sure everyone serve his interests. He should be made aware that he is the best among his peers in every aspect, that your family’s race, class, caste, religion, or nationality is the best in the world. You can find relevant matter on the Internet to fill him up with love and pride for your own kind. This will make your child’s self-esteem soar like a space shuttle.

Next you need to inculcate positive attitude in your child. Despite all the protection, and the rainbow world that you have created for your family, your child will surely come across the ugliness of the lowly creatures, which is very difficult to obfuscate in this internet age. You will have to teach him how to turn a blind eye to it by explaining that all the violence, abuse, rape, hunger in the world is good for your family because you are the fortunate ones not suffering from all that. It is very important to forgo empathy and start enjoying others’ miseries.

Your little angel should develop passion for some sort of activity to immerse his senses when he wants to unwind or relax. With his acquired skills, he can fiddle like Nero when there is too much looting, burning, or bombing around the world. Now it is insanely time-consuming to master any musical instrument like Nero did. It is not easier either, to grapple with any other fine art, such as painting, dance, or literature. But you can certainly help your kid develop a passion for video games, Facebook, Twitter, etc. etc.

You should be a role model for your child because most of the time he is subconsciously absorbing values from your behavior, such as helping others for your own selfish reasons, talking very sweetly to those who might fulfill your agenda or advance your career, ditching them once your purpose is served.

After acquiring all these virtues, I am sure the scion will never be unhappy or distressed in life, rather he would be a source of distress to others. Tension lene ka nahin, only dene ka, ok?

The last virtue in today’s list is like a golden turret encrusted with precious stones on the top of a magnificent temple. And hold your breath—it is none other than the sense of humor! Teach your child to find amusement in everything and everyone. Make him adept at making fun of people. Believe me, it is very easy to laugh at anyone—after all, no one is perfect.

(Disclaimer: This advice is for raising a happy child, not necessarily a likeable one.)