The Making Of A Poem: Part I

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Donut Revenge 1982
by Jean Michel Basquiat
I wrote a poem yesterday. Before inflicting it upon you, I believe it is my duty to explain the story behind it. “A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.” So said Robert Frost. I have been suffering from all these maladies for the past few days.

I was homesick. I talked to my mom last week. She said when she goes to sleep at night she doesn’t know whether she would be able to get up in the morning or not. That made me extremely sad. The next evening when I called, she was in a baraat, a wedding procession, of a neighbor’s son. “I am sitting in a car. Many others are on foot, dancing to the music.” This made me even more miserable. I missed the band-baja-baraat.


I was lovesick. Woh chup rahein to mere dil ke daag jalte hain… Now I don’t want to reveal my latest crush and cause heartburn to the earlier ones.

I had a lump in my throat, which made my husband ask, “Gala daba doon kya?

“PJ,” our daughter said.

“Who is PJ?” the father asked.

“Ha ha ..." I couldn't control my laugh. "Don't you know what PJ stands for? Have you forgotten your cousin, Pooran Joshi?”

And the sense of wrong troubled me to the hilt on Sunday, February 20th. It so happened that a family friend invited us for a museum visit and a picnic outing at a children’s park. I excused myself, saying that I had to complete a blog post on the Middle East uprisings, but the day didn’t turn out the way I had planned.

In the morning, while having breakfast in the patio in our backyard, a big bird dropped some food on my head. The food had already passed through the bird’s intestine, so it kind of smelled foul. “Why don’t you wear an underwear?” I shouted at the bird.

“Do you go to toilet in your underwear?” the bird shot back.

“Give me tissue paper,” I asked my husband.

“But the bird has flown away.”

“I want it for myself.”

“Why waste tissue paper?” he retorted. “Go and take a bath.”

The worst thing in this world is to be told to take a shower that too on a Sunday. But there was no escape from the father and the daughter’s relentless nagging.

After cleaning myself thoroughly with shampoo, soap, and hot water, barely had I walked two steps out of the shower area with a towel in my hands, when I slipped on the tiles, and fell flat on my face. My nose and lower teeth took the impact. For a while, I remained on the floor, using my breath on the towel as hot pack for my nose and mouth. After recovering from the shock, I tried to get up. My knees hurt badly. I went near the mirror and watched my face closely, and oh my God, I was horrified. My face didn’t have any outward injury. Now, no one was going to believe that I had a fall. You don’t fall everyday. It was a huge disappointment to not have any lasting injury mark.

My lips looked slightly swollen, as if they had received Botox treatment, and there was a small cut on the inside of my lower lip, which I knew would be dismissed as a self-inflicted bite.

All in all, I didn’t feel too much discomfort either, but was not inclined to do any housework. My husband and daughter grudgingly cooked, laid the table, and then called me to lunch. When I went and sat on my regular seat, the chair collapsed like Tunisia’s ruling family. I had a premonition that other chairs would also collapse if I sat on them. This time I fell on my hips. Again, there was no serious injury. Instead of inquiring about my well being, my husband began a discourse on weight loss.

I lost my appetite after finishing lunch. Then I declared myself bedridden. And to my surprise, I started feeling pain in lots of places.

And then suddenly, tabhi achanak, I received a phone call from my friend….

Continued….

(Disclaimer: The second half of the bird joke is not a product of my fecund brain)

29 comments:

  1. Am I allowed to say LOL??? No?? Ok!! Awww!!! What a horrible day you had!

    But honestly there are days when anything & everyhing that can go wrong goes wrong!!! Hope teh day improved after the call!!

    Psst!!! loves your conversation with the bird ;)

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  2. Thanks a lot for following the blog, Smita!! You can LOL or RHLOL(Rote hue LOL)! Nice knowing you :-)

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  3. Does LOLling here make me a sadist? If it does, I won't mind, because, it was absolutely hilarious to me.

    Okay, on a serious part, you did not solve the crisis at Middle Earth (:P) with the post you were supposed to write, or is that somewhere else?

    BTW, take care of the pains, rather take good care of them, but just don't pamper them too much that they decide to move in to your bones on a permanent basis.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  4. @Anshul: This is a humor post! Middle East is still in my thoughts :-)

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  5. love the way you narrate...great flow of words... and that's quite a day a person can have.

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  6. Haha! This is an awesome personal fiction. ROFL
    You surely are my blog's inspiration. :-P

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  7. The Inimitable Giribala. Your post made my night! I will wait for the next installment.

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  8. The title doesn't go with the post. :) Where's the poem?

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  9. @Aparna: Thanks :-)
    @Prateek: Looking forward to your inspired tales.
    @USP: Thank you!!
    @Ajay: I will post the poem next time when this story ends :-)

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  10. Brought a big smile....Look forward to more...

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  11. God Giribala, this was such a LAMAO post.
    Your wicked sense of humour - this time you surpassed even yourself!!!

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  12. Can’t stop laughing at the bird joke! Its not too good but three good :)

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  13. I have a problem. This is REALLY funny but I'll have to laugh at your expense. Not happening.

    Anyhoo, I'm trying to control myself. If you come out with the sequel I really won't have an option but to blurt out a loud HA!

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  14. When the person in pain dish out her tale in humor you can laugh without guilt :P LOL indulgence.

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  15. personal fiction - love the label. You crack me up and cant wait for the sequel to come. Nice to be here.

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  16. The Bird Joke was too good, where was I all these days....One hell of a post, following right away :)

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  17. @Alka, @Purba: thanks a lot buddies!!

    @Pallavi, @Kartikay, @Lakshmi: Thanks a ton :-)

    @Mayank: Good to see you here!

    @Anto: Thanks for the follow! The bird joke is not original. I heard it first time from one of my friends.

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  18. enjoyed this post - the chair collapsed like Tunisia’s ruling family....

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  19. "A poem is a measuring stick for the depth of one’s heart." I was actually expecting a poem in the end, waiting for the second part. Has to be this good! :)

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  20. I enjoyed reading this one... looking forward to the next part..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
    Connect with me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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  21. " I went near the mirror and watched my face closely, and oh my God, I was horrified. My face didn’t have any outward injury. Now, no one was going to believe that I had a fall. You don’t fall everyday. It was a huge disappointment to not have any lasting injury mark" this was the best! i so share the mutual feelings here. it may make me sound a sadistic maniac but true, i too look for injury marks whenever i fall to show it to my folks and i too get disappointed sometimes when i have none. seriously, what do we expect?? a medal for valor for our battle against the floor?? :P

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  22. @Deepak: Thanks :-)

    @Benedict: Thanks a ton !

    @Aseem: You have already raised the bar of your expectation. I am afraid you will find out how shallow my heart is :-/

    @Shashi: Thanks! I am a devil worshiper, so I can only say ॐ नमः शैतानाय. I hope you won't mind.

    @M : Nice knowing you. Lol at Battle against the floor :-)

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  23. “Why don’t you wear an underwear?” I shouted at the bird.

    “Do you go to toilet in your underwear?” the bird shot back.

    “Give me tissue paper,” I asked my husband.

    “But the bird has flown away.”

    “I want it for myself.”

    “Why waste tissue paper?” he retorted. “Go and take a bath.”
    OF ALL, I LOVED THE WIT AND HUMOUR INTENDED HERE. nice read!..waiting for more.

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  24. Great one!

    Liked the bird bit and the 'no visible physical injury' bit...

    LOL'ed out throughout!

    ~Sanz
    http://sanz360degree.wordpress.com/

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  25. @4twc: nice knowing you :-)
    @Sanz: thanks!!!

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  26. Now, I would laugh like the 'Joker'(the one characterized by Heath Ledger) to portray paranoia and humour in a single breath. That quite justifies the sadism. ;)

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  27. ROFLMAO only you can transport me into a state characterized by spasms of laughter. Okay you and Purba di and a few others. Proceeding to read the second part of the making!
    Pj bit was hilarious.

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  28. ROFL!!! This is so good! But my heart-felt sympathies if this really happened. Crows should be given potty training!

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