The Seasoned And The Seasonal

These days I do not have enough patience to read the news stories thoroughly. I read only a few lines and  make up the rest. For example, when I came across this back and forth between Mamata Banerjee and Rahul Gandhi, all I could do was skim through the article. In the following paragraphs, I present the text of their respective speeches for your reading pleasure. I have used bold letters for the original quotes. The less bold ones have originated from my feeble mind.

Mamata Banerjee
(Picture Courtesy wn.com)

Mamata Banerjee said, "Amra dumurer phool noi (We are not a seasonal flower rarely seen) that we will appear like cuckoos before elections, chirp, and fly away.

"I am also not a parrot that lives in a golden cage, sleeps on a bed of gold, eats gold biscuits, and repeats only what has been taught. On the contrary, I am a cotton tree that walks around in hawai chappal to railway accident sites, protest rallies, and puja inaugurations.

"You can see I am certainly not a peacock that goes around displaying its plumes, but a potato that feeds the poor.

"I am not a mango sapling destined to be called the king of fruits that comes tumbling down the mountains in rainy season like a pebble and croaks like a frog. Rather I am a hawk, preying on ministerial seats. Now excuse me, I have to practice how to alight on a Chief Minister’s seat."

Rahul Gandhi
(Picture Courtesy The Hindu)

Despite the obvious allusions, Rahul Gandhi has not taken any of those beautiful mixed metaphors personally. “Do I look like a bird?” he shot back when cornered by reporters. Then the golden boy with dimpled cheeks and a diamond-studded throne went on to vent his feelings in a different way.

“I am surprised that you are a Bengali person, are you Bengali? I am surprised you don’t know what respect is. Bangalis are the first people who know what respect is. Mamata Banerjee, Mamata Banerjeejee…. Mamata Banerjeejeejee…n times jee… is a senior leader and I respect her…. We are going to do whatever we do with dignity and respect and I don’t think anybody needs to explain to Bengali people what respect is. They understand very well the definition of respect.

"We are not going to bow our heads. We respect the leader of Trinamool Congress, but with our heads held high. We are respected politicians. Even the dacoits, chors, and pickpockets form alliances without giving up respect for each other’s territories. So this time, we will not surrender or compromise self-respect in seat sharing for the Assembly elections."

Related videos from Times of India:
Mamata takes a dig at Rahul Gandhi 
We respect Mamata but will not bow: Rahul