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| Save these Creatures |
"JUST 1411 LEFT.... ROAR ONLINE…. LEAD THE CHANGE…. SPEAK UP…. BE INFORMED…. DONATE…." A friend has sent this message to me, and I’m going to do all these.
By now you might have already been acquainted with my kind, generous, and obliging nature. If someone asks me to join a group, or click on any link, or cut and paste a message on my Facebook status, or forward an email to n number of people, I do it religiously.
My husband calls me dumb, but if a click is all that is needed to save a soul or a body in distress, I would never shy away from it. What else has the Internet been invented for? Be it day or night, if someone asks for my help, I type the word ‘help’ a hundred times and send it to him or her.
Now, for the sake of my above-mentioned friend, I’m going to roar, lead, speak up, be informed, and donate. Kindly, bear with me. Kripaya, sahan karen.
Roar online: Grrr…. What a dud! My shrill voice is good enough only for singing Lata Mangeshkar’s early songs.
Lead the change: Follow me! But do keep guiding me from behind. I am directionally challenged. It seems my maker had forgotten to install a compass in my head. And if anyone of you has a wheelchair, please bring it along, so that you can push me ahead in case I passed out on the way. Bahut kathhin hai dagar panghat ki: too tedious is this path to the river bank.
Speak up: I am a born speaker and I like speaking up for the downtrodden, the meek, and the voiceless. Folks, we are all God’s creatures, and being the only superpower, we humans have a duty to save or kill the less fortunate according to our self-interest. Imagine, just 1411 left! I go into the kitchen and feel like crying. 1411 *sob*. There was a time when we would leave the dining hall after having a meal, and within a few minutes the messy kitchen, the dirty dishes, and the table would be cleared by thousands of them. How can, now, just 1411 cockroaches be able to carry out the task? Poor me, I have to slog at the unfinished unsavory job, jeopardizing my writing career.
Be informed: You might ask me, how do I exactly know that only 1411 are left. Well, if the number comes out more on counting, I will say that their relatives from our neighbor’s kitchen have come to visit them. And if the number is less, I will say that some of my soldiers have gone to visit their relatives or girlfriends. Before you get bewildered by my intelligent deduction, I want to confess that I have adapted this reply from an Akbar-Birbal tale.
Donate: Even though, I’m short of my workforce, I’m ready to donate some of my cockroaches to anyone who is in desperate need for them. Please send me a request application in proper English. And do not forget to attach your family’s psychiatric and criminal record. I have to assess all these and also your living conditions before I make a donation.
Now it’s your turn to speak up: “Every little bit helps. You can speak up, or write or blog about our cockroaches. Even staying up-to-date with cockroach facts like knowledge of their sanctuaries, their population, etc. helps. You may donate money to NGOs working for the cause, like WTF-India.”
You can also help by following ‘Save Our Cockroaches’ on Twitter, and by becoming a fan of the Facebook group, by the same name, where you can ‘like,’ or comment, or participate in the discussions. “If we don’t act now, we could lose this part of our heritage forever.”
This is much more important than “Save Our Tigers” campaign, which sounds completely fictional to me. Come on, tigers exist only in storybooks whereas cockroaches are for real. And I don’t like tigers. They are so full of themselves in their heads, while their digestive tracks are filled with other animals. Disgusting!
And cockroaches are so cute, especially in Spanish:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar,
Porque le falta, porque le falta, marihuana pa' fumar.
(The cockroach, the cockroach, can't walk anymore,
Because it doesn't have, because it doesn't have, marijuana to smoke.)
By now you might have already been acquainted with my kind, generous, and obliging nature. If someone asks me to join a group, or click on any link, or cut and paste a message on my Facebook status, or forward an email to n number of people, I do it religiously.
My husband calls me dumb, but if a click is all that is needed to save a soul or a body in distress, I would never shy away from it. What else has the Internet been invented for? Be it day or night, if someone asks for my help, I type the word ‘help’ a hundred times and send it to him or her.
Now, for the sake of my above-mentioned friend, I’m going to roar, lead, speak up, be informed, and donate. Kindly, bear with me. Kripaya, sahan karen.
Roar online: Grrr…. What a dud! My shrill voice is good enough only for singing Lata Mangeshkar’s early songs.
Lead the change: Follow me! But do keep guiding me from behind. I am directionally challenged. It seems my maker had forgotten to install a compass in my head. And if anyone of you has a wheelchair, please bring it along, so that you can push me ahead in case I passed out on the way. Bahut kathhin hai dagar panghat ki: too tedious is this path to the river bank.
Speak up: I am a born speaker and I like speaking up for the downtrodden, the meek, and the voiceless. Folks, we are all God’s creatures, and being the only superpower, we humans have a duty to save or kill the less fortunate according to our self-interest. Imagine, just 1411 left! I go into the kitchen and feel like crying. 1411 *sob*. There was a time when we would leave the dining hall after having a meal, and within a few minutes the messy kitchen, the dirty dishes, and the table would be cleared by thousands of them. How can, now, just 1411 cockroaches be able to carry out the task? Poor me, I have to slog at the unfinished unsavory job, jeopardizing my writing career.
Be informed: You might ask me, how do I exactly know that only 1411 are left. Well, if the number comes out more on counting, I will say that their relatives from our neighbor’s kitchen have come to visit them. And if the number is less, I will say that some of my soldiers have gone to visit their relatives or girlfriends. Before you get bewildered by my intelligent deduction, I want to confess that I have adapted this reply from an Akbar-Birbal tale.
Donate: Even though, I’m short of my workforce, I’m ready to donate some of my cockroaches to anyone who is in desperate need for them. Please send me a request application in proper English. And do not forget to attach your family’s psychiatric and criminal record. I have to assess all these and also your living conditions before I make a donation.
Now it’s your turn to speak up: “Every little bit helps. You can speak up, or write or blog about our cockroaches. Even staying up-to-date with cockroach facts like knowledge of their sanctuaries, their population, etc. helps. You may donate money to NGOs working for the cause, like WTF-India.”
You can also help by following ‘Save Our Cockroaches’ on Twitter, and by becoming a fan of the Facebook group, by the same name, where you can ‘like,’ or comment, or participate in the discussions. “If we don’t act now, we could lose this part of our heritage forever.”
This is much more important than “Save Our Tigers” campaign, which sounds completely fictional to me. Come on, tigers exist only in storybooks whereas cockroaches are for real. And I don’t like tigers. They are so full of themselves in their heads, while their digestive tracks are filled with other animals. Disgusting!
And cockroaches are so cute, especially in Spanish:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar,
Porque le falta, porque le falta, marihuana pa' fumar.
(The cockroach, the cockroach, can't walk anymore,
Because it doesn't have, because it doesn't have, marijuana to smoke.)
kya baat hai! i m greatly impressed.
ReplyDeleteliked the word "directionally challenged" :)
ReplyDeletewe cant put out the fire but we can contribute our bit by raising our voice.
u may remove word verification which appears before publishing the comment ... it is an unnecessary time khau process ...
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settings - comments - Show word verification for comments? - no
Yet another hilarious production...enjoyed every word!
ReplyDeletewow loved it,u r brilliant in comic writting
ReplyDelete@Neeraj: Cool! The Grist Mill did what the PTI management couldn't do in years :-)
ReplyDelete@Arkjesh: I'll find out your challenges and then like them...
@Sangeeta: I trust you.
@Subhadra: Thanks! Still learning the ropes!
A tiger can be saved after confession (one already did in Florida). Not many knows the worth of cockroaches :-)
ReplyDeleteCustomer: Do you have cockroaches?
Clerk: Yes we sell them to the fisherman.
Customer: I would like 20,000 of them.
Clerk: What would you do with 20,000 cockroaches?... See More
Customer: I'm moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it.
--- Keep up the good writing...
Hi Giri,
ReplyDeleteThis is truely super awesome, first i thought it is about the tigers so nothing gonna be that much interesting,as we see lot many these days but later on I realized the importance of roaches toooo...... ;)
Sorry havn't had time to read your blogs(New 1s), was bit busy..but now I'll wait for your blog daily.
I read only two your's and Amitabh's.
Thanks for writing so good for us.
Saahil
@Jay: I suspect that the customer is a mass murderer and he wants to erase the trail.
ReplyDelete@Saahil: Nice to hear from you! You don’t have to wait daily as I post only once a week.
You blog is a hit :-)
ReplyDeletedi you inspire me...one more added to your fan club. Pradyumna
ReplyDeleteThis is the exact treatment fit for the subject. Too much tiger is bad for health. I got the mails too but didn't know what the hell to do with the FB updates of my friends. I will mail them this link in reply. Aw!
ReplyDelete