Khap Panchayat's Theme Song: Just Kill Kill Just Kill

Friday, June 25, 2010

Licensed to Kill
I was shocked to the split ends of my hair to learn that my friends were unaware of the brave heroic acts being carried out in some parts of India. People in Haryana and neighboring states have been killing their own family members to uphold their traditional norms in accordance with the Khap panchayats, and here were my friends, asking, “What is Khap?”



You need to up the ante, Khap dudes. If people don’t know about you, how are they supposed to follow your rules? I’m afraid that all our ancient customs are going to get buried along with us and the next generation is going to have a whale of a time, enjoying their life with unrestrained freedom.

To help you with your mission, I have composed catchy parodies of a few popular songs. You may distribute the CDs of these songs among common people to terrorize the transgressors and motivate the killers.

Song #1 - Just Kill Kill Just Kill
(Just kill kill just kill) 3
Kill them who dare to love and,
Kill them who dare to love and marry,
(Just kill kill just kill) 3
Hack them who disobey the diktat,
Hack them who disobey the diktat and marry,
(Just kill kill just kill) 3

We fed you, we clothed you, we raised you,
How could you marry on your own will?
(Just kill kill just kill)3

We live (screwed up lives)2/ without (love and romance)2
We live screwed up lives/ without love and romance,
How could you fall in love/ hey Romeo n Juliet?
We have the support/ of police and politicos.
They help us keep the traditions/ alive n kicking.

We fed you, we clothed you, we raised you,
How could you marry on your own will?
(Just kill kill just kill)3
Just kill!

Original song 'Just Chill Chill' from the movie 'Maine Pyar Kyon Kiya'


Song #2 - We Will We Will Kill You
Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise
Playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo’ face
You big disgrace
Kickin’ your can all over the place

We will we will kill you,
We will we will kill you,
We will we will kill you,
We will we will kill you.

Original song 'We Will Rock You' written by Brian May and performed by Queen.


Song # 3 Hooda Ne De Di Permission
(For people who don't understand English, here is a Haryanvi song. It also shows how to celebrate after killing the wayward newly married couples.)

Hooda ne, Hooda ne de di permission re,
Buddha ki ghata di ib tension re.

(Mhari mouj kara di budhape mein,
Ib chain hi chain hai jeevan mein) 2
Hum raji ho re Khap panchayat se,
Hooda ne de di ib permission re…

(Beti ne mhari kar li bhag ke shadi,
Beta ne banaya une swarag ka wasi) 2
Ib bete ko bachayegi Khap panchayat re,
Hooda ne bhi de di permission re.

Hooda ne, Hooda ne de di permission re,
Buddha ki ghata di ib tension re.
Jindal ne bhi de di permission re,
Buddha ki ghata di ib tension re.

Original song 'Hooda ne bdha di mhari pension' conceived, produced and directed by Harvinder Malik.


By the way, I just called my parents in India and found out to my horror that my husband and I are from the same gotra. I hope the Khaps forgive us. I promise my next seven generations will live, marry, and die according to the Khap rules.

(Picture courtesy licensedtokill.biz)

16 comments:

  1. haryana mein hain khap,
    par sab jagah,sab log karte hain unka jaap,

    such is their takat,
    cant refrain from their diktat,

    ur songs are really very well conceived,
    hope one day,from these khaps,India is relieved.

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  2. Absolutely hilarious!! Tweeted it and Buzzed it too :)

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  3. Gosh!!! If it weren't such a horrific reality, it would have been amusing. Sigh! I live in Haryana .... and know of this evil up close, cant even smile. It is just plain butchery

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  4. You know if it wasn't for the khaps being so brazen, they might have been able to stay under the radar for longer. Then they began to protest and threatened to tear up the Constitution and all and now their days are numbered.

    I'm so happy. I want to see them froth at the mouth!

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  5. I think they should change their name from Khap to Khack Panchayat. This makes sense in Hindi(khaakh) as well as in English(ok, hack'em). They have immense talent and opportunities. They should turn it into a business by taking contracts for honour killings as well. All the honour saved from their pious acts would be stored in an 'honour bank' which would lend it to the politicians who need it.

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  6. Thanks Dream Chaser, IHM, Phoenixritu, Bhagwad, and Ajay!!! Let's all hope good sense prevails.
    Phoenixritu, you are right! The situation is depressing.

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  7. Teeheee! :D
    That was hilarious!
    Loved your blog! :)

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  8. A hilarious take at the gravest social evil looming large over societal norms, Khaps are still in the 'dark age'...let there be light!

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  9. Fantabolous!!!!I guess i spelt it wrong,who cares :)......i love ur posts they are unlike any other....cheers

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  10. Khaps are getting their share of publicity. They have recently appeared even on “We the people. Khaps are to social issues like Mayawatis, Lalus, Pawars, Jayalalithas and Karunas are to politics. We can hate them but they are here to stay for quite sometime. May be they will change their name like terrorist outfits do in Pakistan on weekly basis.

    We just can’t choose and pick. We can’t enjoy fried food unless also getting share of cholesterol with it. Gotras are bit overated. Still most of us prefer to marry in same caste and different Gotras. Off course we put this blame on our parents or elders like families do to Khap Panchayats. Who takes the cases there in first place and wait for their divine justice. We are the silent Khaps or like someone rightly said “Khaks”. We see different set of rules for ourselves and liberal rules for society in general.

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  11. Gopal, Preeti, WJ, blabberblah, Rajesh: Thank you all very much. Keep visiting and keep sharing your views and insights here!!

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  12. Loved it, too gud!!

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  13. yadaa yadaa hi dharmasya....The Almighty Himself has to take an avatar to nullify these people!!

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  14. @Satish: That's a good thought! May be Almighty is confused about what religion his avatar should follow! Therefore the delay.
    Welcome and keep visiting the blog :-)

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