On Gender Equality

Friday, March 8, 2013

Gender equality, a habit which people in West have taken on like wearing clothes, still remains elusive in India. Most of the people here are like members of some remote tribe, proudly gyrating in nude, showing off their stuff/junk of inequality in the name of culture and tradition. They remain oblivious of their grossness because it is the only way of life they have known. This habit is so normalized and ingrained that it will take decades for all our people to adopt equality and become civilized.

(Scroll down to watch Shah Rukh Khan as a groom in Babul ki Duayen Leti Ja)
A society that does not shed its old festering scabs of customs and traditions is worse off than the snakes that shed their old skins periodically. A society which keeps half of its population unhappy can never realize its goal of development.

Much has been said by the militant feminists about the “so called” discrimination against girls and women. I have been quietly agreeing and liking their posts and blogs out of courtesy. Today, I want to show everyone the real face of discrimination in Indian society, which makes our boys and men suffer in silent.

As it is well documented, the discrimination begins in the wombs. Many couples decide to send their precious unborn daughters to a better world and curse the boys to live in this rabid world. After being born, while the daughters are left mostly unattended so that they become strong and healthy survivors, the sons are spoon-fed everything, as if they are invalids. Do you know that if you don’t let a butterfly break its own cocoon, its wings remain weak? By spoon-feeding the boys, the parents make them physically obese and emotionally weak.

And then while in adolescence only the girls are taught the necessary skills for everyday life, like fixing a meal for oneself or keeping one’s surroundings clean, the boys are made forever dependent on women folk in these matters. Parents don’t realize how much the sons suffer later in life for the lack of these simple skills.

As for education, parents expect less from girls, and boys are made to study all the difficult things in the world. And afterwards too, men are supposed to do the real work, suffer indignation, fight in the dog-eats-dog world, while women have it easy at home, forever squandering their husbands' or fathers' hard-earned money. Why do girls always have it easy?

When grown up, the girls are protected fiercely, while the boys are left on their own. What if your son is misled by some characterless wayward girl and made to lose his virginity? He will always live in shame and fear of his moral lapse being discovered.

The most flagrant discrimination can be seen when parents marry their children. They spend way beyond their income on a daughter’s wedding. Many a time, the sons are made to repay the loan taken to make their sisters' lives comfy. Moreover, the parents try to recover some of the wedding expenses at the time of their sons’ weddings in the form of dowry, making their sons lose the respect of their wives forever.

Have you heard that song, “Babul ki duaein leti ja, ja tujhko sukhi sansar mile... (Here are the blessings of a dad, may you live happily ever after...)”?

Of course you have, but only at a daughter’s wedding. Why don’t people wish their sons happy lives as well? They are let off with a handshake, that's all. The boys also need to be told, “May the misfortune stay away from you. May you get so much love from your in-laws that you forget us,” and everything else that is mentioned in this song. They are as nervous and apprehensive as girls at the beginning of a new phase in their lives.

Only a society that takes care of its sons as it cares for its daughters can become a true egalitarian society. Let us all pledge to give equal rights to our boys to make our country a happy place for them.

In that ideal world this song will be played at a son’s wedding too. Watch Shah Rukh Khan as a groom in that ideal world:

(Gender equality image via Technorati.com)


  1. I agree.But,Ifeel the situation is gradually changing as girls are getting educated,are opting for professioanl courses and and becoming economically independent.Yes,this is happening in large citiesand I am certain even in smaller towns girls are becoming aware of their strength.
    TV and social media has been a source of major push.
    Time isnt far when girls will insist upon their parents to let them choose their future.
    Happy women's day

    1. All true Chowla ji! But I still hear stories of groom's parents demanding dowry.

  2. Giribala three cheers for you. You have written a very thought provoking article. Each and every word you have written is correct. This sort of handling affects the personality of many men. Some days back I had written a blog, with the title'Why not Men's Day?' Read it , when you have time. I would love to have your comments.

    1. Thanks Usha ji! What you say does have point. We need to celebrate Men's Day :-)

  3. Mouth organ se shehnai ki awaaz nikal rahi hai. Wah wah! SRK ko bhej hi daalo :). Valid points -- don't apply to my sons, of course :-P!

    1. You are too westernized, Rachna! You seem to be spoiling Indian culture :-|

  4. For a moment(only a moment)i thought this was going to be a serious post,but then the hope came crashing down.This too is topsy-turvy,ulta-pulta as always!
    Carry on Giri--love you as you are!

    1. Ha ha....thanks Indu ji! Thanks for your love and support :-)

  5. Thanks for spreading awareness on this topic. There is more to it:

    1. It is always that a boy has to win a girl's heart. The girl can sit comfortably, look at all the available choices and select one.

    2. The world thinks that a boy can never be molested. Nobody would ever listen to such a complaint

    But having a men's day would not work for following reasons

    1. Men would not remember the day. They can't even remember anniversaries properly
    2. Men assembling to celebrate men's day? Then they would not know what to do, so they will go and have a booze. End of the day!
    3. The 'man' who proposes that there should be a men's day will be condemned by other men that he is not man enough!


    1. Good points! Your description of Men's Day is hilarious :D
      Mahesh, you'll have to make more effort next time you post a comment. Though I do not want to inconvenience genuine readers, I am getting a lot of spam messages these days, so I have disabled the Anonymous option.

  6. I have a post on similar lines in my draft!
    Another thing I would like to add is that whenever there is a tragedy - like the sinking of the Titanic - they let out the women and children first. What about the men? Don't we have a right to live? Are we so utterly dispensable?

    1. Sometimes I read your posts and find that either I am halfway on similar lines or have already written about it. Even though the thoughts are same, the posts come out differently.

      Yeah, and what about paternity leave? Why do only mothers get to enjoy the time with newborn babies?

  7. Not to forget how our men slog away at their chairs at work while feeding themselves cheap ass chai and putting up with small talk while our women enjoy the pleasures of taking our children to the park, school, feeding them and putting up with healthy conversations with other stay at home moms about what we cooked and how awesome our husbands are!!!

    Nicely written. Loving your blog. This particular comment reflects a growing frustration I have seeing only moms and nannies at our parks and children's recreation areas. I just moved to India after a decade and God help me find more hands on fathers around here!



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