A Kick-Ass Nation

Friday, October 21, 2011

We need to make India a kick-ass nation, meaning a forceful, aggressive, and impressive superpower. For that, we need a revolutionary transformation in our way of thinking, behaving, and working.

As citizens of a wannabe superpower, we should demand improved infrastructure and efficient services without hassles and corruption. Indians are the best in the world. We should follow our own traditions to find our own ways for development rather than aping the west.

Enough of politeness, courtesy, and respect—these things are not going to take us anywhere. We shouldn’t be bothered about fulfilling our responsibilities either. Only by kick starting a kicking/punching/verbal-abusing/shoe-throwing revolution, both online and offline, can we make India a real superpower. We need to be crazy for our nation.

Even Anna Hazare says, “When a man's power of tolerance runs out, then whoever is in front of you, if a slap is given, then the brain is put back in place. That is the only road open now.”

Please like “Let us kick, punch, and break heads of all anti-India traitors to make India a superpower” on Facebook. Let us spread this message by writing violent one-liners inciting people to beat up Digvijay Singh, Kapil Sibal, Rahul Gandhi, Prashant Bhushan, Arvind Kejriwal or anyone else that anyone doesn’t like.

We should be proud that we are the best in the world, at least in writing expletives and abuses on the web in bad English and even worse Hindi, though Pakistanis are a close second.

For offline revolution, more patriotic armies like Shiv Sena, Sri Ram Sene, Bhagat Singh Kranti Sena, Maharashtra Navnirman Sena, Bajrang Dal should be consolidated, and given a free hand to continue beating everyone and anyone.

Change begins at home. To make our children good kickers and boxers, they should be trained from early childhood. Only a person who is abused properly in his childhood can become a good abuser when he or she grows up. Therefore, please start kicking and punching your children and siblings at the earliest. Conversely, children can emulate their elders by kicking and beating their parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. This is the best way to practice to excel in this field. And then there should be community level, state level, and national level competitions for kicking and verbal abusing.

I have already designed medals and trophies for the participants and winners. This one is for the gold medalists:

A typical day in a person’s life in our ideal nation would be, watching and indulging in kicking and abusing at home, at work, and also at any other place that one would visit for any kind of service—places like the market, a government office, a hospital, a beauty parlor, a restaurant, etc.

When all anti-nationals, traitors, and corrupt people would be beaten up, then only our democracy would start functioning efficiently and our nation will become a truly great nation—a kick-ass nation.

Mera Bharat Mahan! Vande Mataram! Jai Hind! 

Related links:
FIRSTPOST: Attack on Prashant Bhushan: The real shame is on us
NEWSBULLET: Bal Thackeray congratulates Prashant Bhushan's attackers


  1. kick-ass post. Just kicking won't solve it fast enough. We sure need more effective methods.
    Started practicing any way :) Hope to get a 'Shabbas' soon!

  2. @Jani: ha ha...someone is inspired :-)

  3. Wait till the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences gets to hear of your amazing concepts. I'm sure you'll make us all so proud.

    That said, all we need is to embrace Talibanism, dear. They are kicking a lot more than ass....

  4. Do things in the violent way?? I think, we guys are from 'the land of Ahimsa' Any way it's your view. One great thing about democracy is that every guy is free to do something stupid or sensible in their own way. So, I support democracy and what about u?
    Truly an entertaining post; hope, you will get interesting comments.
    From: sriramnivas.wordpress.com

  5. @Umashankar: Thanks for the enlightening!! Yes, now I think Talibanism is even greater than merely kicking and punching....

    @Sriramnivas: I support democracy too! I hope you didn't take this article literally :-)

  6. Awesome post. Satire is the best form of criticism and you excel at satire. :) We would truly become a superpower (what an abused term) if all netizens start supporting and posting on FB against corruption (so oft-repeated that it's a sore to ears now). :P

  7. Let's put forth a suggestion to the Olympics Association and beseech them to introduce a chappal throw event! Phir ek medal to pakka hi milega.

  8. @Ajay: We already are a superpower at copying and pasting messages!

    @Purba: Yes, on popular demand, discus throw should be replaces by shoe throwing :-)

  9. Really loved the trophy. I am now vigorously practising to get the maiden one. After all, i am a patriotic Indian, aren't I?


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