I am not able to conjure up new posts at my will these days. It has become difficult to write humor and satire amid so much death, destruction, and depravity. It stresses me out when I can’t write. When I told all this to a friend, she opined that I must be having writer’s bullock. Initially, I did not understand her, but when I contemplated on it later, the picture became clear. Writers should have unicorns, flying horses, birds-of-paradise, butterflies, and so on. Bullocks are for farmers and village people. When a writer has bullocks, he or she cannot write.

In my imagination I saw two bullocks and they were not allowing me to write. They had a cartload of books, and implied that until I read all those books, they were not going to leave me. I considered it a pleasant break from the nerve-racking 24-hour news grind, which is then magnified by bloggers, and then further bombarded by Facebook and Twitter friends.

Writer's Bullocks

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Updated on 29 December 2013

A still from Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani via topnews.com

1. Lungi Dance from Chennai Express, featuring Deepika Padukone and Shah Rukh Khan:

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I know people never learn from other people’s mistakes, even then I consider it my duty to share a few pearls of wisdom that I have gained from my mistakes and my friend's mistake from time to time. I promise, if you follow the following tips, efficiency and happiness will become your slaves.

1. Avoid using an iPad or a laptop computer as a chopping board: Until someone invents waterproof laptops and tablets made from food-grade material, it is best not to use them as cutting boards in your kitchen. 

2. Never cut vegetables with the blunt side of a knife: A knife has two sides—a sharp side and a blunt side. If you cut vegetables with the blunt side, it will take a long time to complete the task. Besides, the area of the blunt side being more than that of the sharp side and pressure being inversely proportional to area (pressure = force/area), you will have to apply more pressure while cutting vegetables or meat.

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Although the recent floods and landslides in Uttarakhand have put the state in the headlines, the local people have suffered unimaginable loss of life and livelihood. Uttarakhand Mandal of America (UMA) is working towards rehabilitating at least 2000 affected families. Your donations are most welcome. Please visit UMA website to learn more.

Map via uttarakhand.org

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