Higgs Boson: The Search Is Over

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

For the past few days, we have been bombarded with the news that the Higgs boson has been found. The following video was made a day before the big announcement was made at CERN:


Even after all the hullabaloo, in reality, no one has yet been able to see the God particle in person. He remains elusive, though seekers have found signs of His existence. We are still not sure if the Higgs boson works alone like the God from Abrahamic religions, or there is a team like Hindu Deities.

Here at the Grist Mill, He is our supreme deity. If you haven’t noticed yet, the header of this blog is a faded image of
a tunnel at the biggest temple of Lord Higgs boson.

I have been a humble follower for many years. I even sleep with my head in the direction of Geneva.

Lord Higgs boson is the God of micro and macro. We can’t even imagine how much change His worship could bring in our lives on this earth and beyond. On one hand, He could open up new frontiers of material science and medical technologies; on the other hand, He could revolutionize communication and transportation and take it to the interstellar level. Our fellow believers anticipate the decline of the religion of Electronics. Though right now, we don’t want to offend Lord Electron.

Inspired by the priests at the CERN Temple, my friend and I also tried to find the Higgs boson in our own crude way. Anticipating that out deity would weigh around 124-126 grams, we began our experiment. We went to a road construction site on a nearby hillock and asked a certified person to blow rocks for us. Then we collected the small pieces and weighed them. We found many rocks in the range of 124-126 grams. These were our Higgs bosons. The smaller pieces looked like debris of Higgs bosons, while the bigger pieces still had Higgs bosons inside them. Thus we collected a lot of Higgs bosons.

If anyone wants to install these deities at their temples or homes, please contact us. We sell Higgs bosons for $19.99 each. We also accept Indian rupees. It is an ideal gift for family members and friends of any age. Our Higgs bosons are accentuated with custom colors and suffused with refreshing agarbatti scent. Order within next 24 hours to receive 15% discount. If you order two, you will receive an additional 20% discount on the second one.
Higgs Bosons 
(courtesy:tutorialfreakz) 

Related Links:
National Geographic: The God Particle
द ग्रिस्ट मिल (हिंदी): मायाजाल

24 comments:

  1. LOVE IT !THIS IS A TOTALLY NEW APPROACH TO H.B.

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  2. You sleep with your head in the direction of Geneva :). Wicked, loved the humor! Frankly, my dear Watson I give a damn! To a non-believer like me, this hullabaloo is quite amusing.

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  3. Hurry! Get those Higgs Bosons of yours patented before there is a stampede for that!

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  4. Why should I spend $19.99 when I can find my own rock?

    And my rock will be more godly than yours. HA!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's great Purba! Do it yourself is the best way, but there are people who go to salons even for pedicure, manicure, or facial, and spend a fortune. How can we expect them to find Higgs Bosons?

      Delete
  5. LOL :)) one Higgs Boson for me please! Any discounts? :)) $19.99 is pricey!

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm....originally, I had priced them at $9.99, but then I googled and found out that similar products are sold at $19.99. Therefore I had to follow the market prices. Check this out:
      http://www.ebay.com/itm/Om-Engraved-Red-Stone-Aum-Yoga-Rock-/200677733151#ht_1023wt_1135
      Since you have asked so politely, I will charge only original price.

      Delete
  6. Missed being here...Glad to be back :)
    What discounts are you offering if I order in bulk. And, I hope shipping is free :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course for orders more than $100, shipping is free :-)

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  7. We also accept Indian rupees!!! ha ha ha ...

    really brave after the recent depreciation :D

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    Replies
    1. What else can we do? Most of our buyers are Indians :-|

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  8. Finally 3 of them were right - it is a God particle, a particle and something cool!!!!

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  9. offer some HBs to subhash ghai ,he needs two more rocks for his thumbs[all other fingers are already adorned with lucky rocks,while you are at it offer some for his great toes too ,he is a sucker for precious stones!

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    Replies
    1. Will surely contact Subhash Ghai and others from Bollywood....Just wondering if i should accept money in cash or cheque!!

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  10. Any franchise offer?? I am out of work.

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    Replies
    1. Sure Kavita! As soon as the business starts growing, I will contact you!

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  11. :) CNN had their own share of the hullabaloo...seems to have died down this week though.

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    Replies
    1. Even the Higgs Bosons decay as soon as they are detected. But my Higgs Bosons are quite durable!

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  12. I like very much that lady still in search of HB on top right corner of blog.

    nIce post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :-) She thinks she can find Higgs Bosons by crushing molecules in her Chakki!!

      Delete

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